Okay, so I've started this whole blog thing to help me. I need to start dealing with all these "emotional issues" I've been having. Let me start off by introducing myself.
I'm Girl X. I'm the girl who sits next to you on the bus, who is in the grocery line behind you at the store, and who trips when she's walking down the street. I'm a college freshman at a university in Michigan and I'm planning on going into Broadcasting and Cinematic Arts. In my dreams, I'll be working on tv shows and movies someday.
I wanted to start this blog thing to give people a look into the life of a (current) female college freshman. Yes, I'm one of many, but I think my experiences need to be told. I want to release my own emotions and if I help others at the same time, then it makes it all the worth it. Will anyone ever read this? Who knows... but all I know is that it needs to be done. I'll try to get daily updates, but school kinda keeps me busy. So without any more introduction, here's the first acutal "blog."
12:47 am Tuesday January 15, 2008
So it happened again. Another one of my guy friends telling me they think I'm too weird. " ______, I think you're funny as hell, but I think it might be a turn off to other guys. You're sort of intimidating."
All my life I've wanted to be one of those girls who dosen't ever seem to have any problems, yet I'm probably one with the most. I think I'm a fairly attractive girl. My friends tell it and I see the looks I get from people all the time, yet I have a very outgoing personality, which I think prevents a lot of people from actually getting to know me.
I wasn't always the "pretty" girl I "am" today. In middle school, I got made fun of constantly! It was horrible. I even attempted suicide three times, without anyone knowing. I never told anyone any of my problems, I just thought they were mine to deal with.
Today, it all came rushing back to me. That comment from my guy friend really hit home. I haven't dated anyone since my sophomore year of high school and even then you can't really even consider it a date. I haven't even been told I'm pretty by anyone since I was in high school. How sad is that? The fact that he called me "weird" evne hit home too. I don't think I'm weird. I just want to make people laugh. Why does the fact that I'm not afraid to speak my mind or embarass myself to make others life more enjoyable make ME weird? Why am I denied happiness just because I don't let a guy dictate my life?
So of course, I cried. I cried and I cried and now, writing it all out is helping me. It's also making me think. EVERY GIRL IS BEAUTIFUL. EVERY GIRL SHOULD BE TOLD SHES BEAUTIFUL. Just because you think all of your friends are dating and you aren't does not make you anymore beautiful then you are. If people call you weird, let them. You are enjoying your life the only way you know how, and it shouldn't matter to other people how you act. The outside appearance does not define who a person is, but it dosen't deny the fact that girls should still hear it.
I'm starting to feel better now... Writing things really helps a person calm down. Next time you're upset, you should try it..... Until next time,
Girl X
Believe in yourself.. always.
Posted by benne1ej on 2008-01-15 01:02:21 | Rating: | Views: 115
Catches her before she falls again...is she the girl of his dreams or just another casualty in this world?
I swear you fit the profile of the woman I was just writing a story about. Well, the start of a story(one of many many).
So, YOU are the one I keep running into on the bus:P Funny, how you change appearances but always give me that buzzing feeling like I should say hi but I trip over my tongue and hate myself later for not saying a word.
A triple attempted SU ay? I can say I went down that road once. And, I've met others like you. I know your type. I love your type but--yea--it's hard to talk to you. So, please help break the ice for me. Then I will warm up so quickly, we might set off the fire sprinklers.
Into movies you say...well, what a coinkidink. Me too.
Girl X...sounds like a cool (teen) superhero...could you be mine?:P
Girl X sounds like a fun and awesome person who knows how to have a laugh.
Don't let anyone tell you that you're not.
People are always scared of those who dare to be different.
Don't feel to bad about the crying either - just let it out and then things will start to feel better.
Don't ever stop being yourself - even if yourself is considered somewhat wierd.
You say that you're the one that makes people laugh - I think that's awesome... you can never know who's day you made that little bit better and brighter by just making them laugh.
Just be you and don't listen to anyone that says you shouldn't!
it makes me feel alittle better about being a freak at least i have a good sence of balance but alass i cant spell for crap keep on trying and maybe buy shin gaurds
Woah! Dude, you sound so much like me. The whole being weird thing. And the art thing (If that was you. I think it was, if it wasn't I'm having a "me" moment) I mean, I know I'm kinda weird, but that's sort of how my humor is. Weirdness. But embrase your weirdness! My closest friends have told me their lives would be boring with out my weirdness to infict them and their lives.
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