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my father and i have always had a strange relationship. we were really close when i was young. he can hold me in his arms and we watched television until i fell asleep. he loved me, i could tell. he loved my family, that was obvious. but everything has changed. he's not the same guy i once called daddy.
i'm just a teenager, i am one step closer from each of his screw ups to loathe him. he does everything wrong. like seriously. he tries to be Mr. Fix It Man, but everything he does, he messes things up even worse. i have more arguments with him than ever, he makes me cry one too many times and he just makes me believe that he doesn't care for my family and i any longer. which makes me care less for him more each and every day.
it may seem wrong, but i blame my dad for breaking up my family. my sisters hate him, no doubt about it. i, for one, am still confused. there's a thin line between love and hate for how i feel about him. of course it's harder for me because i am - or was - his "little girl". he does all the wrong things i can think of: he cheats, lies and is thee selfish man i can ever meet. sure, my family is legally together, but mentally/emotionally.. we are one separated family. well not entirely, my dad is the outkast. for the rest of us, we are still a familia.
yesterday and a bit today, i argued with him. why? well he changed our Dish thingy and now i am upset how cheap our "new" one is. and i didn't argue because i was mad that he totally messed up my DVR-channel watching hobby. but he messed up one of my things and that was the end of the line. i couldn't take it any longer.
for now, i am giving him the silent treatment. i have also decided i want to move away to college as soon as possible. i know this all sounds stupid and that i may take things for granted, which i don't really because i appreciate everything i have. and i understand that this situation CAN be worser than this. but i'm predicting this is the beginning of a disastrous tragedy about to occur. and i hope to stop it now before it's too late.
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Posted by bella_vita09 on 2008-04-03 21:30:00 | Rating: | Views: 56
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