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| Good Lord.....warm the bitch up!!! |
Dear Dr Ramone,
I am putting pen to paper to lodge my complaint with regards to my yearly smear test which I had done yesterday. Being a male, it is possible you do not understand just what an awkward and difficult experience this is for a woman to go through. No doubt, you look at your shiny clean speculum and think it's pretty inoffensive.
Wrong!! Firstly, it's a terrifying gadget that looks like it may have belonged to an 18th century Victorian serial killer. Trust me Doctor, it is a very frightening object. Designed to instill fear into any woman.
Secondly, and this is the crux of my complaint. It's cold!!! Not just cold, it's icy, stone dead 'I will never be warm again' cold. Seriously doctor, could you not see yourself to warm it up before inserting it into the warm pink thing that is my love tunnel? Nature and God designed it to be a living, warm and soft thing, to be receptive to warm, living and hard objects. Why wouldn't any man realise the incredible intrusion and physical reaction that a icy cold 4 inch long object has when pushed into the warmth of a womans most intimate parts?
Seriously doctor, you need to sit down and discuss this openly with Mrs Ramone, or your receptionists, your sister or even your mother and ask them to tell you about their experiences with the dreaded smear test. Maybe you could boil the kettle before seeing me this time next year, and pop the speculum in a cup of the hot water, just for ten seconds or so before taking a look in the Beetle Love tunnel.
I wish you and your family a great Christmas doctor
Yours sincerely
Miss Moments
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Posted by beetle2 on 2008-12-05 18:16:00 | Rating: | Views: 69
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