I was raised and born in the same country that I am in and for 20 years, I couldn't remember one single instance that I enjoyed living here. It's gotta do with something - I don't know what it has to do with but I know that I need something that could change the way I look at life.

I'm not some rich kid from a well off family. I'm not some gorgeous girl you could see on the cover of magazines. I'm not some prodigy child who gets accelerated to college at the age of 14. I'm not some actress who gets to act in movies and bag awards. I'm not a dancer who could do somersaults and cartwheels all day long.

I'm not someone exciting and nobody can blame me if I'm not enjoying myself 'coz I don't live the life that I always dreamed of living ever since I was 10. Sorry for being so negative, but that's how I feel - my life is full of NOs, NOTs, DON'Ts. If I was to blame anyone, I would put all the blame in my parents. They raised me differently. They were too protective for my own sake, that's why I don't feel mature enough to take responsibility for my actions. I've been taught not to go out at night, I was the kid that didn't know a lot about other kids and different kinds of people because they never told me about diversity and difference of character. They protected me from knowing about the bad side of society - I didn't know much about rape, sex, fraud, murder, incest, taboos...I was clueless. I learned about these things when I was in high school, when I was allowed to discover things that surround me. My parents were never the type to sit us in one corner and talk about things...They're different and now, I feel like I'm not part of something big and meaningful. I'm a lost cause and will remain to be until I can't figure out a way to find myself on my own.