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MARRIAGE AGE, WHEN IS IT TIME!

Okay, so here it goes. I have been asked lately about 2 dozen times. Why aren't you married yet? Who asks these questions. I mean really. Take for instance what age is it best to get married at. I for one have no idea. I mean is it 22-25 like all of my friends who can no longer hang out with their single friend. Is it 30 or do you even have to get married. I mean why does everyone feel they need to ask me this question. I personally am annoyed as anybody can get.My question to them is. Is it really any business of yours? I mean you get married and then what have a family and you are jsut happy now and everything falls into your lap. Um no. I mean every older person that has gotten married says I am doing the right thing. Do not get married young. I personally want to finish college and get a decent job so if I get married my wife and I do not have to get into it about money. Personally I will not marry a person who does not have a bachelors degree. I know that sounds harsh, but I want a person who is intelligent and is fun to be around. When I read the newspaper I would like someone wno understands what is going on in the world. I feel looks are a good thing, yet when we get older I would like to be able to talk to someone also. Not be stuck being bored with my life. Also not everyone is meant to be married. Personally I would like to get some of my own accomplishments done in life. Also it can be difficult to find someone that your compatible with. I like to think of myself as a very intelligent person. One thing all of my older married friends have said is do not rush into something. I mean being married is probably a wonderful thing, many people get married younger and have very long lasting relationships. Yet one piece of advice has been given to me concerning getting married young. A relative of my is a therapist. The one major problem he hears is this. He or she doesn't hit me, they are not a big drinker, they don't gamble and they are very good to me. I just don't love them anymore. I mean what do you say to that. He says many young married couples express this feeling to him. So what do you say to that. How long does love have to last to be happy and keep the marriage happy. I personally don't want a marriage of convenience I would like a marriage that is with two people who genuinely enjoy each others company. When I leave to go do something I don't want a phone call every 10 minutes of where am I at. I want to be able to trust someone. Even in a business relationship and friendship without a certain level of trust the relationship can not continue. So my question to the world is when is it the proper time to get married. When I am 30 or earlier. Should I just blindly rush into something. I mean right now I am single and happy with my life. I have worked hard and accomplished many things and feel the need to get married will come when the time is right. Good things come to those who wait. I know I will need to seize the opportunity when the time is right. Yet for now I am content with my life. I feel that certain someone that I will find wil be there when things are supposed to happen. So when is this? I personally do not know, and I don't think anybody has ever really known. I come from a divorced family and remember the pain that comes along with this. Personally I would like to avoid that in the long run. Even though the most well laid plans can be easily broken. One day I hope to be in this special union that the world reveres with so much zeal. Yet when will this be, who knows. So my answer to the people who ask me, why are you single, why aren't you married, aren't you lonely. First you have to love yourself before you can love somebody else. I am single by choice not circumstance, I am not married because the right moment in my eyes has not happened yet. And no I am not lonely, I have many friends and people I love to hang out with. Of course everything happens all in due time. Sometimes it is just better to wait. Since if you push things to fast, the result usually is not what was intended. So to those of you who are married reading this congratulations I wish you the best of luck, and to those who are single good luck all in due time my friend.

Posted by b018025034 on 2009-11-03 02:14:46 | Rating:

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Dear b018025034,
I am very impressed with the maturity that you have conveyed in your blog.
There is absolutely no reason for you to even worry about getting married until you really feel ready to do it.
Besides you didn't mention that you have found anyone that you're In Love with, and that has got to be the most important qualification before thinking about marriage.
I can tell you from experience that rusing into marriage never works out, as I was only 19 years old when I got married the first time. That marriage lasted only five years and two kids later we were divorced.
My second (and last) wife and I lived together for 28 years. She helped me raise my kids as her own, and they know no-other mother. It took me twenty eight years to convince her to marry me, and we have now been married for five years, and there is no possible way that we will ever get divorced because Pat (my wife) has taught me the true meaning of love and devotion. Something I never knew with my first wife.
Your whole blog was written with great thought and maturity, and I have no-doubts in my mind that you will certainly know when it is that you'll be ready for marriage.
Listen to your inner self, and you'll never go wrong.
Now as to my opinion of when it is you should think about getting married, hell that's an easy one.
Get married when you are absolutely sure that you have found the right partner, and there is no-doubt in your mind that they are the right one!!!

Posted by jwcj on 2009-11-03 02:57:40