I have two conflicting desires, each of them are equally as strong.
I always find it hard to open up, even though I know none of you on here - apart from one - actually know me.
But today, all I have done is think. Think about if I changed my ways, and I actually started to see a glimmer of light..
Anyway..

I was in PE. We were doing long distance running, I felt rather enthusiastic, I actually wanted to do it. First few laps I was fine, by the third I was getting slightly out of breath, forth and fifth I was lagging, sixth I was walking, and on the last one and a half I was running, really going for it. I was running on mind power alone.
Next thing I knew, everything was spinning, I couldn't feel the ground beneath me. "Well done Aymee.." I felt my back against the dirt, "Are you okay? Aymee?" and then everything went black.

I regained consciousness, I was laying in the gym, my PE teacher stood over me. I had fainted for a short amount of time. I felt like crap.
So, we had a little 'chat'. He went through all the possibilities, and then said "Have you had dinner today?" I shook my head. Suddenly everything all felt stupid and childish. I considered telling him I'd been skipping meals, but he wasn't taking anything seriously. He wouldn't take me seriously.
After our little chat - that wasn't actually a chat, because it was mainly him doing the talking - I thought that it wasn't that hard to eat a little more than I do.

I went to pick up Sams brother with him, then made my way home. I wanted to eat. I was starving, I wanted to eat and eat and eat just to make up for these meals I've missed. I prepared a little snack for me, some cakey things and flapjack with jam and bread.
"You fat pig." My step-dad said to me at the sight of my mini-binge.
I threw my snack in the bin.
At dinner time, I decided to go for my walk instead of eating.

I'm confused.
I have PE tomorrow.
For some reason, I feel like I've let my PE teacher down. He was so nice to me.
I know my step dad was doing the right thing. My snack was just unwanted calories.

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