For every negative thought I have, fell a raindrop today. I caused a storm with just my mind. My intentions are good I swear, I wish I was normal. But instead my thoughts are wicked, and I am ashamed to think. I laughed at the new girl today. Everyone was laughing and so I laughed too. They were laughing at her because she liked something weird. The 'cool' people like weird things too. No one laughs at them. There's a girl whose obsesed with Rent, High School Musical, Miley Cyrus and Jonas Brothers. No one laughs at her. But they laugh at new girl, so I laugh too. I do something bad everyday.

When I walked outside today after school, I fellt the rain pour on top of me. Remind me of all the bad things and htought i do and have. Today I was reminded how horrible I am. Just when I start to forget,  I'm reminded.

I think I love a boy who lives on the other side of the world. i think about him all day. I wonder if he thinks about me too. I doubt it. He talks to me sometimes. But I think I've held onto him for too long. He was a summer crush. Summer's over. We hung out a lot, kissed, and talked. He would come with me to the hospital to visit my grandma, and helped me when I was all alone. I've been holding on for too long, it's now november. I should grow up, and move on.