Last night I was up late watching t.v and even though this comerical comes on often I found myself thinking about what people are truly looking for in another person. The comerical happened to be one of those top leading dating sites that will promise you love. So, last night I got on the internet and browesed through one of the dating site and proceed to read what people are looking for in both genders.  I found that most people are looking for three things mostly trust probably because of being betrayed in previous relationship, less mind games, and honest people or should I say " true self".  Now granted , that each person has their own personal criteria for what they are looking for whether it being looks, education levels, finicial stablitiy, personality, charm, and/or manners; however, I think that ultimately everyone is looking for is acceptance for who they are.  Is it possible to be your true self in a society that despite it's own efforts tells us to be individuals yet constantly creates new ways for us to conform to it's rules? 
I find it very interesting that even as we grow this notion of being accepted for who we are still fuels our choices and molds us throughout life. For instance, when we were kids like pre-school and kindergarten we made friends with everyone, yet when we got older stereotypes, clicks, appearances, attitudes, personalities, and emotions started to change our perception of people. Did we go from being naive to being matured ? Or did we go from being wise to immature? Are we that afarid of what is inside our souls so much so that false personas are better then the truth?  
I decide once to truly look at myself in a whole sort of way I looked at my past and current life. I wanted to know how I changed.  I remember growing up being shy around my classmate probably because I could speak english, I was raised in polish speak family.  Nevertheless, I made friends then things started to change in second grade. I remember this one day were we had to fill out this About Me paper and report back to the class.  In that paper were things like hair color, eye color, weight, family facts, and fun facts about yourself. It was then that I realized I was chubby, still had problems reading out loud, and sort of a get into trouble kind of person.  As I grow up I tried to be myself but realized that my true self wasn't making friends. I was made fun of at school but I delt with it I developed the "whatever personality" and then family problems made things just more difficult. I remember high school was going to be different because you can start over and change.  I did I remember allowing myself to be me in small ways and found was to connect to people on a buddy sort plane.  I wasn't part of a click or any group I merely floated from groups to groups oddly enough everyone knew who I was.  It was upon graduating high school that I finally came to terms with the fact that I might not ever find that secure footing.  I guess I knew I was a floater constantly making new friends and trying to see life as other people saw it but I could never find that one group that was constant. Anyway, what I meant to say is that I learned at an early age to start developing walls and now that I am in college I find it interesting that despite my constant triumphs in having my true self exposed I still have those walls. 
Therefore, since I had all this time to prefect myself and allow for my realness to shine through I haven't be able to. I consider myself I good person, but when I looked back at my past I found out that I lied a lot because it was easier to tell a lie then to speak true words about myself.  What I am trying to point out is that I maybe my worst critic but when I looked at myself as a whole and came to realize that being accepted for all the imperfections as well as  virtues,how scary it truly is.  That is what it means to be truly accepted! Why are we scared to open up? If everyone is looking for this notion of being "accepted for who we are" why do we still put up barriers, is hiding your true self easier then letting it out?  Is being hurt far greater a risk then be honest ?  What tend to believe is that as people we are all hiding from something sometimes it may just be ourselves, but we all need to understand is that everyone has been through their fair share of bright blue skies and dark roads of depair.  Thomas Merton once said this: The truth that many people never understand, until it is to late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more  you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things being to toture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.