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So I'm going through one. It sucks because I know it's all my fault. It seemed like I woke up one morning and just didn't want to be married anymore. He is a good guy and did nothing wrong. So I got online and found online friendships and interests (that never went anymore expect in my head). Looking back at it now, it was stupid. The dumbest thing I've ever done. I wish I never got in front of a computer. Now when I do... no one knows me. I'm anonymous and invisible. I don't want to make online friends. I think I used my online "friends" as an excuse. So that my now ex wouldn't want me anymore because I didn't have the courage to tell him goodbye.
In the end... I know it's for the best. But I still feel bad for everything that happened. Guilty. My only choice is to unload here.
Right now... the divorce is finalizing. I have custody of our daughter. It's non contested. We didn't have any money together so that's not a problem. We kept everything seperate while we were together. But lately, I'm feeling like this was the worse choice I made. Now everything is uncertain. I don't have someone there to love me. But then again, that's why I stayed with him... for security. That in itself was wrong. But I miss him around for the little things. I should've tried harder. Right now, this is going down as the biggest mistake I've ever made. I feel like whatever bad happens to me in future relationships is what I deserve because of the way I hurt him. Biggest mistake ever.
I hope he finds someone. A better person than what I could ever be to him.
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Posted by asuka7 on 2008-06-05 02:30:42 | Rating: | Views: 40
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