Who knew that becoming a mother could be so freaking hard?! I mean, obviously it's not for the faint of heart but the worrying that comes along with it, the stress, the sleepless nights.

Now I know why my poor mother seemed to be so nutty all of these years. Just because you're healthy doesn't mean you are guaranteed a healthy baby. There should be some disclaimer, somewhere that tells you that there are absolutely NO guarantees!

Actually, I knew that. I just thought it would never happen to me. The date of my much anticipated (and doubly dreaded) doctor's appointment is drawing near and I just can't seem to keep a lid on my emotions. Everyone keeps telling me not to worry, that no matter what my baby is going to be perfect in my eyes and blah, blah, blah. Okay, so maybe my baby will be perfect in my eyes, but about the eyes of society? In case no one's noticed, there seems to be a lot of emphasis on perfection and normality. Not that being normal is even achievable really, or even desirable but in terms of normality I am speaking of intelligence and appearance. I hate to sound so, so...superficial but I'm sure every mom that has ever had children only wants her children to be...normal.

How do you explain being abnormal to a child? How do you tell them that somehow, for some reason, God decided to send them to earth to be tormented and teased by the other children in school and by people in general?

I suppose all of this is just useless worrying, but like I said, who knew becoming a mother carried so much worrying with it? Next time your mom nags at you about anything at all, just know that it's her being a mom and worrying about every aspect of your life. I mean, my baby's not even here yet and I can't help but worry about every aspect of either of the two futures he/she could be facing.

I don't want to hear bad news on Tuesday when I go to the doctor, then again, I can not live without knowing any longer. I just want that doctor to say, "Opps! My bad! Sorry about the scare, your baby looks abso-fucking-lutely perfect!" At which point I shall deliver a strong kick to his genitals for making me worry so much.