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Every morning I get online and wait for my husband to sign on. He's in Iraq right now and earlier this week we discovered that his new laptop has a webcam built in, which prompted me to go out and buy one so we could make the distance feel not so far. Thus far, my early morning waiting has been fruitless but I think I'll catch him one day soon.
While I wait I peruse the offerings of google.com and read about pregnant crap. Lately though my focus has been on bellies, as mine still looks like someone who's hit the all-you-can-eat buffet one time too many versus a slightly round bump of baby. At my last doctor's appointment on June 20th (also my birthday!) I was assured that I was 13 weeks pregnant and that so far, everything looked good. But when I compare my belly to other belly's it doesn't even seem to be in the same ballpark area. So this morning, in my quest to quell the nagging fear that I am, after not abnormal I found this woman's pregnancy blog. Her name was Wendy Cox, and at 41 she was trying to have her first child. They began IVF (invitro fertilization) procedures and on her first time, with only one egg she conceived a perfectly healthy baby boy. While I read about how hard she tried I felt kind of bad. When I first found out I was pregnant I was terrified. I mean, I wasn't ready! How is it that someone like me can get pregnant seemingly that easy while couples who are perfectly, 100% ready and willing have to try so hard to become parents and fail? It just doesn't seem fair at all. I was once told I couldn't have children most likely (I've had issues with the reproductive organs) and I was on birth control and still, I thought I was pregnant and the idea seemed kind of cool. But thinking and knowing are two COMPLETELY different states of mind. When my doctor told me I was a rare case and some kind of small miracle was in there, I wanted to hit her. How could she have lied to me and told me kids were probably not a possibility? She got my hopes up! I was always the one of my friends that said, "No babies, no way!" Now, when I realize how lucky I am that my life is coming together so wonderfully (I'm married to a man I'm nuts about, I'm going to have a baby with said man and said man is also excited about becoming a parent and sharing his life with me) blessed I am, I can't whine about not being ready. Things happen for a reason, right? Reading that other woman's blog today just really made me feel better and assess the situation as, "You are so incredibly lucky!"
And I really believe I am.
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Posted by asteffey07 on 2007-07-10 09:41:31 | Rating: | Views: 107
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Aww... this is such an exciting time in your life! I bet it's amazing to feel a life growing inside of you. Now you have two sparks inside you instead of one. I know, I sound majorly cheesy... but it's just so sweet! =)
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Posted by crate_expectations
on 2007-07-10 10:18:51
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