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Strange, possible growing up?

So I checked the Evil Myspace today, and found something interesting. Bud was in photos hanging out with an old friend of mine that he had convinced me was an asshole with whom I shouldn't associate. Well, I think they are both assholes. It was the first time I've seen Bud out and about at all since the break-up and he appeared to be having a wonderful time. It turned my stomach at first, but then I realized these pictures were from "4:20" if you catch my drift, one of the very reasons (amongst all the others) that I found myself unattracted to him.

Then I looked at all five photos that were there. It was as if I didn't even know that person. He looks completely complacent, and that is where he shall always remain. Complacency is the poison of the unsure. I want more from life than that. My new interest does too. The more we talk, the more I think we have in common. He lives farther away also, which means that we cannot be together everyday. I have the opportunity to visit my family, and paint, and just be me without feeling guilty for not spending time with my beau. I've decided that I am never again going to give up myself just to be with a man. No man worth dating is going to keep me from my needs.

I think relationships should be equal partnerships. And part of the equality stems from honoring and respecting each other's needs, even if they don't always include the other. I am learning that I am somewhat of a loner. Or at least, I enjoy my quiet time as much as I enjoy time spent with others. I can't give that up anymore. I am so happy right now, just having the ability to do what I want with my time.

I think I am entering a new phase in my life, where I am in control. I think I will be meeting lots of new people, making new friends, establishing my business, working on my paintings, and hopefully building a meaningful relationship with someone who cares for me, not the person they want me to be. Sounds pretty exciting, huh?