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arabesque's Blogs in April 2009

events that can change everything
argh this blog doesnt make sense. my head is a mess at the moment though.. i dont know who i am anymore, or what the hell i think im doing everything just seems like some gigantic dream..or well...a nightmare nothing seems real i dont know if its because i dont want to beleive this is......Read More

Posted on: 2009-04-03 10:34:26 | Rating:

| Views: 89 | Comments: 1 | Tags: suicide confused depression

tears of nothing
im seeing a therapist now and i hate it i hate having to talk about stuff i feel like some kind of experiment i hate the way the woman peers over her glasses at me like im something to be examined i mean i guess i am, and its her job to examine me but i feel so stupid and i really......Read More

Posted on: 2009-04-07 11:45:54 | Rating:

| Views: 37 | Comments: 0 | Tags: depression therapy piano

je suis dÃ©sespoir
its been 12 days since i last cut, at least i think its been 12, i cant really remember considering that for a week of it i was completely out of it and wouldnt of had the strength to cut myself even if i wanted to but now that i have recovered physically from the happenings of a couple of......Read More

Posted on: 2009-04-09 10:30:03 | Rating:

| Views: 97 | Comments: 8 | Tags: depression lonely tired cutting anger

my pointless annoying rant for today
woahhh timezones are pretty trippy for what seems to be the majority of people on the site its easter today! (happy easter btw) but for me over here in ye ol' australia its the day after easter already! goshhhh thats WEIRD woohoo im pretty fuckingggg bored 1:37am......Read More

Posted on: 2009-04-12 12:56:19 | Rating:

| Views: 52 | Comments: 3 | Tags: rant music depression

alone in a crowd of people
just in advance, probably none of this will even make sense i dont know whether i love the city or whether i hate it i was there yesterday and today (well i GUESS yesterday because its now 2:33 but whatever ill just say today) it wasnt that great, well it was, but i wasnt......Read More

Posted on: 2009-04-15 13:03:40 | Rating:

| Views: 138 | Comments: 7 | Tags: depression cutting saddness suicide lonely

DIRT
sorry in advance for the excessive swearing. and also this blog is just completely weird. im freakin not right in the head sometimes i just want to completely fuck up my life just so that i can actually have an excuse for feeling the way i do i have no reason im just bloody......Read More

Posted on: 2009-04-19 07:59:19 | Rating:

| Views: 58 | Comments: 5 | Tags: anger depression hate

art appreciation anyone?
i thought i might post some of the artwork ive done for studio art at school (the only subject i actually like lol) I just want to get some opinions of it, see if people actually think if its alright or not. lol i've been meaning to do this for quite a while, ever so......Read More

Posted on: 2009-04-20 07:39:48 | Rating:

| Views: 58 | Comments: 7 | Tags: art LOL ITS SHIT! :)

3:22AM
IM AN IDIOT PLEASE TAKE NO NOTICE OF ALL THIS ANNOYING DRIVEL.... i'm dreading tomorrow. thats why i haven't gone to bed yet, going to sleep will just bring tomorrow faster. going back to school is not something that i am looking forward to. i usually dont really want to go back......Read More

Posted on: 2009-04-20 13:25:48 | Rating:

| Views: 67 | Comments: 2 | Tags: depression no motivation im an idiot

i am going insane
i just wrote some fucking massive as blog and when i finally went to post it GUESS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED yep! THATS RIGHT FUCK YOU LOGIN PAGE! YOU JUST LOST ME A MASSIVE BLOG GRRRRRRRRRRRRR lets see if i can write it out in less words this time i think that i have finally lost......Read More

Posted on: 2009-04-27 13:33:49 | Rating:

| Views: 60 | Comments: 2 | Tags: cutting depression going freakin insane

the wolves
Lately i've been thinking alot about how i want to run away. Not in the 'oh i want to run away from my family because they are mean' sense i want to run away from my entire life i was thinking about how i would lose the friends that i have, my closest friends, but that......Read More