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arabesque's Blogs in March 2009

wow. first blog. what a milestone
hmm so my first blog i just really need somewhere to vent my thoughts and feelings. so hello mr blog. i barely even know what to write even though i have so much on my mind where to start i dont even know how i could start because i dont even know whats wrong im just screwed up in......Read More

Posted on: 2009-03-02 09:13:47 | Rating:

| Views: 52 | Comments: 3 | Tags: suicide depression loneliness

annoying thoughts. just a load of bulls* really.**
i am sick to death of trying trying to be happy when im not trying to be nice even when i fucking hate someone trying to please people when i know that im going to fail anyway i completely cover up my bad feelings and pretend that they arent there im not saying that sometimes they......Read More

Posted on: 2009-03-03 07:55:02 | Rating:

| Views: 30 | Comments: 0 | Tags: distant

weak. why am i
i swear i have become addicted to blogging now its the only place that i have where i can just have a massive vent and put all the shit thats going on in mind mind into words all my blogs are probably whingy drivel but whatever like i give a shit. i just want to share my feelings and get......Read More

Posted on: 2009-03-04 09:06:12 | Rating:

| Views: 27 | Comments: 1 | Tags: depression lonely despair

the first cut.
sorry if you think this sounds 'emo' as some stupid people would call it or if you think its a waste of internet space but i dont care. i just really really need to vent these feelings oh and by the way, sorry its so long.lol today was the day that i finally cracked i dunno why......Read More

Posted on: 2009-03-05 04:21:59 | Rating:

| Views: 72 | Comments: 4 | Tags: cutting suicide depression confused

my heads like a train wreck
i did it again last night i dont even know why ive only done it a couple of times now i just felt like it was all that i could do it gives me a sense of release when i see the blood ive been thinking about it all day i cant really think about anything else, only the feeling of when i......Read More

Posted on: 2009-03-07 00:15:41 | Rating:

| Views: 115 | Comments: 8 | Tags: cutting depression depressed confused

silly silly homework >:(
I FUCKING HATE HOMEWORK!!! GRRRRRRRRR why on earth did i choose such frreeeeakin stupid subjects that have lots of homework FRENCH is fucking ridiculous i have to write like 3 pages of absoloute shit all for tomorrow. gosh how boring and CHEMISTRY!? well enough said. i basically just......Read More

Posted on: 2009-03-09 07:55:08 | Rating:

| Views: 58 | Comments: 4 | Tags: blah blah blah

call an optimist, shes turning blue
oh and btw. please dont just automaticaly judge me because of this. some of you are probably just like 'why'd you post this shit. i dont wanna know all this,and your a silly girl for cutting in the first place' ...so if you dont wanna know about me and my bad habit dont read any furthur.......Read More

Posted on: 2009-03-10 07:36:28 | Rating:

| Views: 188 | Comments: 4 | Tags: cutting depression depressed EFFED UP!

i am the hate you try to hide
hmmm i dont know what to do.. tell them or not to tell them. ive been thinking about telling my close friends about my cutting but i just dont even know how i would do that i want to tell them but at the same time i feel that i cant because i dont know if they will understand......Read More

Posted on: 2009-03-13 03:07:53 | Rating:

| Views: 59 | Comments: 3 | Tags: cutting friends depression depressed confused

aleinn Ã¡ nÃ½ (im alone
its 4:30am and im still awake....i was feeling so great, i had such an awesome weekend, but all these bad feelings just suddenly arose and i was feeling really low it was horrible. i was trying not to make any noise because otherwise i would have woken my family, but i was crying with so much......Read More

Posted on: 2009-03-15 13:29:25 | Rating:

| Views: 122 | Comments: 6 | Tags: depression cutting depressed suicide i wanna sleep forever

FALLENAPART
sometimes i dont want to get better i know this sounds weird. but its true its at these moments where i am the most selfish being alive i feel like being sad and empty and depressed is just so much easier than trying to be happy i just feel like theres no hope. its not......Read More