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| Are Those Halos in Your Hair? |
FUCKING POINTLESS RANT SHIT
im feeling kind of pissed. Well, not really piseed, more let down.
Its so annoying because i feel like i am always being left behind by people.
It sucks so much coz tomorrow night friends are going up to the city to go clubbing, but i cant go with them because i dont have a fake id and they all do.
its not like its their fault. and its not like they shouldnt go JUST because i cant
but it does suck because its happened a couple of times now and i always feel so left out when they talk about it
And like, i feel like basically one of my very closest friends is slowly becoming less close because shes always talking about going somewhere with this other girl. and the thing is i think that she likes this girl more than me just because this other girl goes to clubs heaps and is always doing shit like that. i mean i guess im just as fucked as the other girl but this girl has connections with people. she can get into clubs, she can get drugs. all that jazz
and here i am. no connections lol no fake id. i cant get into clubs
and i cant even find anyone that looks like me because im so fucking ugly and no one else looks anything like me.
i can see why my friend likes this girl more because of that though, because i know that my friends see that whole scene as being so cool and everything. and i guess i would be lying if i said i didnt. but like its fucking spastic how people my age think the whole 'drug' thing is so awesome and everything. i mean i guess i cant really speak without being a hypocrite, i dont nessacarily find it 'cool' per say but i do wanna try stuff. this is hard to explain
i dunno
i think im just being really bitter about this whole thing because i just kind of know that i suck and its not like iever do anything annyway. my life is such a waste, i barely live at all. so i just try to find all these faults in interesting things that other people do so that i can make myself feel
i think that my close mate is just so set on her life being like that of a rockstar and the sad thing is that i think that i feel like that most of the time too. fucking stupid
i know its stupid and yet i still think it
im assuming its a silly teenage phase
well i have a 4 day weekend now. and i have nothing to do really
my social life is so non existant. it is just sad
do i really have that little friends?
hm
how boring it is going to be
ergh. life is just so dreary and miserable
i seriously hate other people
i have found that i am quite possibly the most jealous person on this planet
i never appreciate what i have and i am constantly comparing myself and my life to other people. i become so resentful of people that have like an absolutely perfect life. and i guess compared to some i have a pretty good life, but because i am so greedy and self absorbed all i want is something better, i am always wanting something better for MYSELF. how fucking selfish right
i think though that i have just come to terms with the fact that im so selfish though and now i just ignore it because i can see it within myself. like if i do something selfish i dont suddenly think woah thats so bad. i just shrug it off all like well i know that im a real dickhead so what else can i expect.
i have really low expectations of myself. probably because i have absolutely no self respect or self worth.
man. sometimes i feel so fucked.
KINGDOMS OF RAIN - MARK LANEGAN
Are those halos in your hair
Or diamonds shining there
Without a hope, without a prayer
This rain beats down like death
You turn your eyes to better men
Before I go I'll hang in a cross on nails
I hung on for you in there
Girl lay your shame to rest
Hope lies close to your breast
You stoop to feed the crows
Some scraps of truth already cold
Before I go, I'll hang in a cross on nails
I hung on for you in there
And every kingdom of rain comes fallin' down
Cause I loved you somewhat
Cause I loved you somewhat
Would you put halos in your hair
Without a hope without a prayer
With lies close to your breast
You finally lay your shame to rest
Before I go, I'll hang in a cross on nails
I hung on for you in there
And every kingdom of rain comes fallin' down
Cause I loved you so long
cause I loved you so long
Cause I loved you so long
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Posted by arabesque on 2009-10-30 09:03:29 | Rating: | Views: 28
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