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| Eyebrows, fortune cookie and a... hair. |
Disclaimer: If you get offended, Don't read my blogs. Cause I don't give a shit, and neither does the fortune cookie.
I'm currently recouping from having permanent cosmetics. I just had my eyebrows & Eyeliner done. So far, I would totally recommend it. I've already spent well more on cosmetics this year alone than the cost of these two procedures. I just hope that I don't swell have can see tomorrow through my glasses with all the goop on my eyes (healing stuff so they aren't so itchy)
I thought I would totally freak out at the thought of a needle/s coming towards my friggin eyes. Guess what? I was effen right! OV was with my and helped by holding my hand the whole time I whined like a baby and tried to roll my eyes back into my head so I wouldn't see what was happening. Of course, I swore like a sailor anyways, cause I'm a baby and cause I'm afraid of needles.
It was even hard for me to think and rethink about the fortune cookie and the hair while I was being prodded with needles.
Oh, you're lost. Well Lemme help ya out.
Friday at work (gasp, Yes I do have a job, cause bloggin don't pay) we had chinese food. I got a call on the damned intercom (yes the damned intercom... the devil) from my boss bitching about how stupid his fortune was from his stale ass fortune cookie. Curious ( you know what happened to the curious cat, right? ) Well, I break into my stale ass dry as eff fortune cookie only to find......
are you ready for this...... In my fortune cookie, I found...... nothing.
So then the little bitty wheels that turn inside my head started to spin, turn and crank away. What the eff does it mean if you don't have a fucking fortune in your damned cookie? I thunk and thunk and thunk some more. I must have looked like the stupid ass scarecrow from the wizard of oz. I came up with some plausible reasons why one wouldn't have a fortune cookie:
1. My future is too fucking awesome to even put on a piece of paper.
2. My future is too special and sweet to cheapen on a piece of lame ass paper
3. I don't have a future. I already used it and my time is up.
4. Some lazy ass decided to skip a few cookies, didn't think anyone would notice.
5. Some overworked poor single mom with 48 kids at home only makes a penny an hour and was too exhausted from their octuplets being up all night to get every cookie.
6. They are done by machine and that's the first step in the head games robots and machines are going to try and take over the world!!!
Yeah, I'm not so sure about any of the plausibles, but what happened next sucked a box of rocks... and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have happened if I would have had a fucking fortune in my damned cookie!
I sat in my office pondering why I didn't have a cookie and then the urge hit me like a truck full of sand. I had to pee.
So off to pee I went not knowing it would be the downfall of my whole day, week, month & possibly year!
I saw a gray hair.
(Down there...)
This is the first gray anything that I've noticed on my spectacular bod and for it to be, well you know, there.
Oh don't act all silly! "There" Means my girlie naughty bits! You know the one with the GRAY HAIR!!!
At least there's only one. That fucker better not breed and multiply! It won't have a damned fortune either and I'm pretty sure the reason for that would be #3.
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Posted by anyoneofme on 2009-10-04 23:22:40 | Rating: | Views: 18
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