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So my birthday is tommorrow and I think the trend is going to continue ... I don't remember the last time I had a truely memorably great birthday. Last year was my 21st and I wasn't even planning on going out until the last minute when I told one of my friends that and I was able to gather a couple random people to go out with. No real party, no gifts, no cake, no real memories ... I went to the bar and got drunk, then went to eat n park afterwards and made a fool of myself all night. Fun times ...
The year before that, I honestly don't remember at all
19th birthday, I found out that my dog wasn't expected to live more than 2 weeks, also nothing special happened
keep going back and the trend continues
Yes this is me wallowing in self pity. I just would like to feel like I'm special to other people for at least one day. However, as my years go on I find this to be less and less of the case. All the people I thought were my friends were really nothing, they didn't really care and aren't there for me any more anyways. All the happy birthday messages I'll get on facebook tommorrow are going to be from people who probably haven't even talked to me at all in the past couple months. No one will invite me out, no one will ask to hang out, no one will actually come over and give me a birthday hug. All the people who actually care about me are far away and I can't be with them.
I am looking forward to next week though. I'm going home for a couple days and hopefully my friend JP will come over to spend time with me and share in my family birthday dinner. He is a wonderful man and I miss him soo much. That is what I'm looking forward to. Getting to see one friend, going to the science center and the aquarium with my mom, taking my littlest sister out to the movies, talking with my brother for a little bit, getting ignored by my other sister that is unless she starts a fight, maybe even getting to see some extended family, but I HIGHLY doubt it. I've become almost the black sheep in my family. I'm actually open-minded, planning on going to grad school, I can appreciate other cultures and think that we could def improve ours by looking outside, I'm not a christian and open about it. I just don't fit in.
And to top it all off ... here comes the dousy ... I think I might be pregnant. Fun huh? It's been 5 days since I've taken my nuvaring out and I should've started bleeding about 2 days ago. And I wouldn't know who the father is either! Wow! It's either Daniel or Ken. At least I know both would be willing to pay for an abortion if I asked them. I just hope I'm not pregnant. I have an at home pregnancy test left over from the last pack I bought. I'm gonna try and wait til at least tommorrow if not a couple days to see if I start bleeding.
Great 22nd birthday.
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Posted by anonvent on 2008-03-01 18:29:26 | Rating: | Views: 61
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