I do miss the times I had spent talking to my mom, she was always attentive to my problems.  The problem with being on my own is that no matter who I talked to, I know that no one would care for me as she did, sometimes people give me advices and I feel they don't even know what they are talking about, they just say things that appealed to them but to tell you the truth to me is a foreign tongue, I never felt my mom spoke to me in a foreign tongue, yes, when I was a teenager I was a rebel too, like most teenagers but with time I realized she knew what she was saying, of course sometimes I didn't listen to her and did my own way but in the long run I discovered she was so right.  Is good to be on your own when you just want to sit down and write, I  love writing, always had and always will, for me is a form of escapism and also of saying what is bothering me disguised in fiction form.  Sometimes I would sit in my room and write for hours, I just get into the characters and I have a good time, my emotions speak to me in ways that make me feel free.  Of course is not easy to wake up every single day and be on your own, is kind of sad  but there are days where I feel inspire to be happy and that same inspiration takes me to walk with a nice smile all day long but other days my gloomy self would take me to smile to others while I feel sad inside.

I don't know if I ever will have so much imagination as to write something with such fantasy as Harry Potter but I am sure that my writings would inspire others to feel more alive, that is what I would love, I want people who feel alone, specially women, feel wanted and loved, feel the need to be happy with themselves, specially now a days when women have so stressed out with weight and is not for health reasons, is all because all of those Hollywood stars who are so skinny, they encouraged women to go to the gym but most of this stars have personal trainners that most people can't afford, life to me sometimes is rare, some people have good things that they don't appreciate while others cry in disppear out of loneliness, starvation and grief.  I had grieved for a long time, loosing the people I love, yes, I go on, I try to get up and walk but let me tell you is not an easy road, I have to walk mighty hard sometimes, my sister could be alive today but a chronic illness took her away seven years ago, a young woman, talented and gifted, life is rare, I tell you with all my heart, to me life is unfair, I want to believe so hard in the power of prayer, I want to go back to my believes when I lost the people I love but is not an easy road.  I take refuge in my writings, in music and in the beauty around me but I can't lie to myself nothing is easy for me, that is the reason why I crave to find someone that will be there in the good times and bad times but I guess the falling in love part I just leave behind, maybe one day I will be surprise but he who broke my heart would never be part of my life again, breaking a heart is not something you do and then forget all about it.
Now is when I need my mom more than ever, now that my heart had bleed so hard, now that I walk and don't know the road, I need her advice, at least her attentive ear to listen to the cries of my
desperate broken heart but then again, life is never easy and never fair, so lets drink to life not being fair, raise your glasses to the unfairness of life!.