Posted by
EasyToSay
on 2008-05-02 03:45:00 |
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Oh Angel, I totally agree.
Finding love in Thoughts.com or online... is possible because if you are lucky you get to see their heart & soul. I dont think you can fake your true self when you write.
Try it. The real person inside, will always come out naturally. Their real qualities and beautiful hearts are more than surface deep.
In the real world often there is this screen which stops people sharing who they really are until they think the other person likes them for how they look first.
I LOVE thoughts.com for many reasons,one is my sweet friends like you and the other ... well you know what the other reason is xoxo
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-02 03:51:21 |
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Hey Easy :)
I know you love thoughts :) I know the person inside comes out naturally here, and i know how people can love deeply without letting looks interfere here. But like you said, the real world stops people from being themselves. People in the real world are shallow. Why? That was my point.
Why cant this be an extension of the world instead of being the postive place and the world being the negative place which is full of facades and shallowness?
Iv found love, but what about those lovely hearts who havent been just as lucky because of the shallowness that people show? What of them?
Ok im ranting :)
Im happy for you easy, wishing you lots of happiness as always :D Thanks for stopping by.. |
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Posted by
EasyToSay
on 2008-05-02 04:15:16 |
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Okay, let me have another go...
In the "real" world everybody protects themselves & won't take a chance.
In the real world it is often a group decision, peer pressure that clouds our opinion of people. It is the stereo types that we run from.
Whereas in here no matter if you are gorgeous or not you can show you have a beautiful heart. And in here you get to do it ONE ON ONE .. and form your own opinion... :) |
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-02 04:41:52 |
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| Yeah i agree with you there...makes sense. People need to realise that good looks cant keep them happy forever and that in the end they're going to want that beautiful heart. Wish they'd realise sooner for the sake of all those wonderful people out there! |
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Posted by
tonyrayhutchison
on 2008-05-02 07:59:21 |
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| in the real world we wear a mask. That part of me that you all see, the poetry, the passion, few in the real world get to see ,and those that do dont apreciate qualities like that. Here I'm open, and I think others are to, and in that "openness" we can find a true "soulmate" not the superficial physical "too scared for her to see me cry" thing we do in the real world. Good post. |
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-02 08:05:45 |
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| Thanks, tony. Yeah you are right about the masks. I guess thats just a sad fact we have to face, huh? Oh well... |
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Posted by
Meredith
on 2008-05-02 10:35:03 |
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| I know, for me, it was initially easier to be myself because I didn't know anyone here yet and wasn't afraid of what anyone else thought about me. I think in the "real" world, people have a guard up because they are so consumed about what people think. At this point, there are certainly some people on here I think I have gotten to know pretty well and, as a result, I DO care what they think but at this point am confident that they won't judge me. I also think there is a safety in not being able to see someone's expression when he/she reads a post/email as opposed to speaking face to face when it is difficult to hide one's emotions. I don't think everyone in the real world is shallow, but I do agree with Easy that there is more pressure to act a certain way. Nice post. |
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-02 13:11:54 |
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| Thanks, Mer. Yeah I know EVERYONE isnt shallow out there, the good people do exist ;) Thanks for the comment Meredith! |
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Posted by
ColoradoDreamin
on 2008-05-02 14:25:33 |
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Angel, what a beautiful touching post. So much I could say ... so many thoughts running through my mind. Humans are a complicated bunch. When it comes to the human senses ... sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste. Sight is pretty dominant (front and center). How many times have we refused to try a new food item simply because we didn't like the way it looked ... or missed out on an amazing book because the cover didn't appeal to us ... or didn't even bother to test drive an automobile because it was the wrong color or didn't look cool. We may have missed out on a car that featured comfortable seats and was a joy to drive.
It's extremely difficult when meeting someone who isn't attractive or whose voice sounds like chalk on a chalk board to want to know them better. In cases such as this sight and sound become distractions ... hindrances. It's not that we are unkind, shallow, bad people ... just people who are not strong enough to overcome the challenges of our DNA.
Internet relationships allow us to get to know someone from the inside-out. When we don't have the option of using our physical senses we are left only with the non-physical ... emotions and feelings, the things of the heart ... which are much deeper and more powerful than anything physical in nature. To form an emotional attachment with another human being is bliss. It's lasting and I have found almost impossible to be broken. Like most of you I have had on line relationships with the most amazing kind hearted wonderful people. Sadly to say if our meeting had been in the real world I know I would have passed them by ... thus missing out on the beauty they brought into my life. It was the lesson I needed to learn and the lesson I take away from the "Internet Friend" experience.
For any kind of deep attachment to form between people ... vulnerability and emotional availability are key. These things become easier with the computer screen and screen names as our masks. If things don't work out, someone makes fun of us or doesn't like us we are not shamed publicly. No one, but us, even has to know. We can just slip away perhaps even moving to another site and creating a brand new identity (screen name). When we have an out (the cost is low) we can be brave. Thanks again for this reflective post. Peace. |
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Posted by
chebtastic1
on 2008-05-02 15:50:30 |
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I still have people try to say that you cant find a 'proper' relationship with someone online. To those people I say 'Look at me and David, and the bump that in a couple of months will be our son!'
I fell in love with him as a person and then met him and the physical attraction and love followed. I fancy the pants off him, but I'd love him regardless, because of the man, the uncut version, I met online. As people have said here, you let things out that in the 'real' world you might not.
What a lovely post. Thank you x |
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Posted by
brainstormer
on 2008-05-03 00:39:32 |
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Im not first?:P
I agree with you up to the point of "unconditional love"...I doubt the genuine nature of such "love" on here. I sense many are doing their part as "kiss ups" moreso than genuine support...or maybe Im just cynical and thick-skinned:P It just seems too easy to spread "love" online. It's as simple as playing some online kiddy game site like Neopets and buying flowers from some shop...none of it exists. Just pixels and data. I feel the same goes for expressions of feelings. It takes a genuine effort sometimes in person, but online it's just a click.
I envy anyone who finds genuine love online. If it really does work, Im astounded.
Well written post, though. Better said than one or two of mine:)
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Posted by
whiteknight
on 2008-05-03 11:32:27 |
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This is one of my favorite subjects...as you could guess...LOL
But I think online you have to TALK and not just see, you can't simply kiss or have sex and cover over flaws with physical.
KP and I have spent hours talking and since you have to keep talking you start to say things that you would not get to if you were there.
You can not talk about the tree, the car, the couple at the next table on a date....you need to talk about yourself and the other person...and then by sheer volume, if you are a fake you will slip up. |
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-04 04:48:19 |
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| Colorado, that was really very insightful. You put it across brilliantly. Thanks for that comment! |
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-04 04:50:01 |
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| Cheb, I'm glad you liked it. Im sure your love is much stronger since you fell in love with the person before the looks. I think that is really important in a relationship. To share the emotional bond, more than the physical one. Good luck to three of you!! :D Thanks for stopping by! |
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-04 04:55:58 |
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| Brainstormer, Hi :) I think you might be a little cynical there. I agree not ALL "love" online will work out, a lot may not even be genuine. But i do know that if it is true, it can definitely work. You have examples right here on thoughts. But you do have a point about spreading love being easier online. Agree with you there. Thanks for the compliment...coming from you, its a HUGE compliment becoz I think you're one of the best writers here. Thanks for the comment! |
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-04 04:59:10 |
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| WK, yes I do know this is something you'd have liked :) Yeah I agree about the talking vs physicality aspect...you cant make up for flaws in the emotional bond with the physical aspect online. Thanks for your view! |
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Posted by
prelude2it
on 2008-05-05 14:01:25 |
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| This was a good post. It's true, here you see people for who they are on the inside. In the real world you get who they want you to see. |
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-06 00:51:59 |
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| Prelude, I'm so glad you liked it. And i'm so glad i've met such wonderful people here...i feel blessed! :) |
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Posted by
erica3
on 2008-05-06 13:42:33 |
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| I love this. and you are very sweet to bring this up! i love love :p hehe but in the real sense. when two people click, and you just know its love, not only by words but with their actions. i believe people can find love online.. i think its one of those things that is hard, but it can happen.. also look at how hard it really is to find love in the real world.. so maybe there is more hope online than one might think. i agree with tony, online is being able to open up more, with words. we do wear our masks sometimes. but i'm glad thoughts exists, because i finally got to take mine off. :) |
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-08 01:42:35 |
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| Hey Erica, thanks so much for reading this and commenting. I agree with you, it is hard but possible. I'm so glad you liked this :) I'm sooo glad thoughts exists too, its become a bare necessity in my life right now!!! |
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Posted by
sharetheword
on 2008-05-08 12:04:14 |
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I think one of the things you are observing among your friends is a lack of commitment. In my life time, which is about three times the length of yours. :) I have seen a tremendous change in what people expect from a relationship. I think many people online are searching for what has been lost. When I met my husband, I was attracted to him in all the ways you have mentioned. But when we started our marriage we knew it was a lifetime commitment. We didn't figure out if we were compatible, and yet we talked enough to know that our core values were the same - particularly with regard to the Lord. He was a new Christian and I had been since I was a child. That commitment to the Lord and to each other for the long term made us best friends. Now that our four children have married and formed their own committed families - I really love the man I share life with.
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-09 01:26:15 |
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| Sharetheword, thanks so much for that insightful comment :) I agree with you that people look for what is lost online, or qualities that their friends and companions lack. I'm so glad that it worked out between you and your husband. Wishing you both all the happiness!! |
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Posted by
sharetheword
on 2008-05-12 00:28:01 |
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| Today was Mother's Day - We look around the room at the crowd we have become (23 of us) and just can't believe that romantic beginning has resulted in all of this! Yes, this is happiness! |
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Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-05-13 03:04:18 |
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| 23! Wow!!! Really happy its worked out this well for you :) Knowing that makes me smile!! |
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