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aaarghhh
Im so so bugged with life. i HATE being in love. i hate running after him. i hate asking for importance. why do i feel like i love him so much but im just an obstacle, a pain in his life?? I could do anything in the world for him, and he still cant give me 2 minutes of him life. I hate getting possessive...but i do. This is really really tearing me apart. He just makes me hate myself so much everytime we talk. I keep blaming myself everytime i get possessive. I HATE being possessive. I HATE IT...i have tried to change that about myself, i just cant. I just cant. Im soooooooo frustrated. Im mad. IM MAD. im really really really really MAD. really mad. the angry type mad, not the crazy type mad. Though its driving me crazy, but thats another issue.

Am i a bad person? Am i being selfish for wanting a little bit of his time, a little bit of his love? Am i being to self centred by waiting all day just to hear those three words from him? Is it wrong to miss him? Why do i love him so much? Why cant i stop missing him? aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhh

I dunno...at times its sooo good...it feels like its perfect. and then at times like this...i feel like the most rotten person on earth. He makes me feel guilty for loving him, for missing him...for aching to hear his voice....

what do you do when u love someone so much? WHY do i love him so much??!!! Is being possessive a bad thing?? HOW DO I STOP?????????
I mean im hot (im not being a snob, im trying to make myself feel good since he is too busy for that), i can be with any guy i want if anything goes wrong with us...THEN WHY DO I GET SO INSECURE??????????

i want to break glass right now...though i wont....
i could break one.....
maybe not...
im losing it.
iv already lost it
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

Posted by angelwings on 2008-03-15 11:28:47 | Rating: n/a | Views: 111


Comments


Posted by
Slash
on 2008-03-15 12:22:48
 
:D
i smile not to disrespect your entry. but because something about you keeps giving me a sense of deja-vu!

i'll start by giving you props. your blogs are so very honest. while reading your words, i feel like i'm listening to your heart. i feel like i'm feeling everything you felt as you wrote those words. and you have barely filtered your emotions before jotting them down here.

second of all, the possessive part. think of it not in terms of good or bad. that is just perception. but guage it, instead, in terms of trust. do you trust him enough to know he wont cheat?
this is kind of a role reversal. usually, i have heard of a lot of guys in your predicament. the girl usually plays these games and "khaos bhaav(hindi)" and the guy has to chase after her. and the guy is usually REALLY possessive and bans the girl from this and that and everything under the sun.

i mean you're HOT! (i'm not being a snob, i just have a notion that girls are much hotter than they admit they are) besides, i dont have a reason NOT to trust you. so i believe that.

and don't break glass! how long have you been in this thing? the relationship with this guy?

mail me and we can continue this there.
 
 

Posted by
Long
on 2008-03-18 03:39:45
 
ahh jelousy and possesivness is part and parsel of it all. But I'd have to agree with Slash is does tend to be a bit more of a male thing, guees just expressing your masculine side :)
But if he's really not giving you his time, the time you deserve then maybe the problem is actually his.
 
 

Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-03-18 03:59:09
 
:) nah..i know of girls who are possessive...hehe...and i guess he is just busy...anyway, ill see how things go..thanks for taking the time out to comment :)
 
 

Posted by
prelude2it
on 2008-03-26 11:17:13
 
I think when you want someone and you feel like the feelings are not being reciprocated you want them more. It's human nature and I hate it!
 
 

Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-03-27 00:42:12
 
Yeah I agree...why do we always want what we cant have? How sad is that??
 
 

Posted by
November
on 2008-03-30 05:08:46
 
Because we must have everything. But I say embrace the possesiveness, it's a good thing (maybe). I was in love once, like you are now. But it ended on Valentine's Day and these feelings still haunt me. I feel like i'm dying and I know your pain.
 
 

Posted by
angelwings
on 2008-03-30 14:16:54
 
Thanks for the comment november..hang in there...the good times will come...they always do :)
 
 


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angelwings
Holy See (Vatican City State)

Latest Posts
1.  Unbreakable (2008-07-13 05:02:04)  
2.  Dancing On Cloud Nine :) (2008-07-07 01:56:28)  
3.  Hot? Who Me? (2008-07-02 07:53:47)  
4.  Come Back... (2008-06-30 05:20:43)  
5.  Realising I Love You....and How Much (2008-06-24 07:26:44)  

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