"Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome and I don't feel right when you're gone away. You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore." _SeEtHeR

How does someone expect you to just forgive them and go back to the way things were before they screwed you over and broke your heart? A heart doesn't mend with an 'I'm sorry'. It doesn't fix itself overnight, or even over a few days for that matter. Especially mine. This will take months. At least a year. At the very least. How can you be in a relationship with someone if you don't trust them for that long? How do you go through each day feeling depressed and miserable?  I have no love left to give or trust or happiness. I'm even more miserable without him. It's like I'm too far in this now to be able to leave right now. Maybe later but not now. How does life get so out of control so fast? I can't eat anymore there's a gnawing feeling of nausea in my stomach all the time. I could really use some pills or drugs or something. Alcohol doesn't do it for me anymore. I need something stronger to forget reality. It's not getting any better and I don't know what to do. I'm confused. I'm lost. I'm depressed. I'm betrayed. I'm numb. I'm ready to give up. I just want to lay in bed all day.

"She goes straight, straight for the deep end, and dives right in" _ScArY kIdS sCaRiNg KiDs