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I've been to miserable to blog lately.
I can't believe that I put my love for Mike into words here for all to see.
I wasn't drunk or whacked ... I've got no excuse..... other than I really just wanted to tell SOMEONE!!
I've wanted to put my feelings for him into words for so long, but to speak it brings it back to life.
Does that make sense?
If I talk about it, it brings it all back to life.
I've hidden it for so long ... and done a DAMN good job of it til recently!!
I have to tell you, I felt so fresh and clean after purging myself of those secrets that I really thought I had done the right thing blogging about Mike.
That didn't last long my friends.
Once I'd put my feelings out there .... eventually even I myself had to face them.
I had to face the fact even though I am 100% committed to my marriage of 14 years .... I love another.
If you remember my blog about Mike you will know that I haven't talked to him in ages ....
Since that blog I've tried 3 times to remedy that.
I know where he hangs out, who he hangs out with and how he spends his time.
I've tried 3 times to contact him by showing up in his places with his people.
Didn't work. Never "ran into him."
Perhaps GOD has put his foot down.
I am not meant to see him, right!?
GOD is safeguarding my marriage.
Maybe I'm blessed, maybe I'm never meant to know what could have been.
I'm not sure how happy I can be with that answer now.
I think I've stupidly pushed myself too far to turn back now.
What's a HAVOK to do??
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Posted by angehavok on 2007-10-01 22:51:05 | Rating: | Views: 151
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If you love this other guy, that must mean somethin, musnt it? I personally coud not stay with someone else, if I loved another.
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Posted by dont_tell_me
on 2007-10-01 23:04:43
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I don't mean to mislead ... I love them both. It would be easy to say .... how can you have something for 14 years and not love it ....but that isn't the problem for me. I've loved them BOTH for years, but I am married. GOD set marriage apart as sacred.
I am married. Does it really matter how much I love Mike?? He is Mike and the other is my hubby.....Life sucks!
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Posted by angehavok
on 2007-10-02 03:00:13
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really difficult to understand
but one need to decide whom you want and what is correct, where is your husband at fault that he will face such havoc
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Posted by Saraswathi
on 2007-10-02 04:47:49
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