As I remember my internet-chatting years, I remember people's profiles and all the time and attention people paid to write one up.  Hasn't it ever happened you read a profile where they say they're something they really aren't?  I'm sure 99% of people who chat have had this type of experience at least once in your chatting life.  Well, here I go again......As a service to the community, here's my Translation in plain ENGLISH of what a profile description really means.  Please don't get offended...some of you might be saying the truth, but deep inside, we all know there's someone out there who lies. 

First up...the women:

Age: 40-Ish = 48
Adventurer = Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic = Flat Chested
Average Looking = UGLY
Beautiful = Pathological Liar
Educated = College Dropout
Emotionally Secure = Medicated
Feminist = Fat
Free Spirit = Substance User
Looking for Friendship first = Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun = Annoying
Old Fashioned = Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded = DESPERATE
Outgoing = Loud
Passionate = Loud
RedHead = Shops the Clairol Section
Reubenesque = Grossly Fat
Romantic = Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Weight proportional to Height = Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate = One step away from stalking
Widow = Nagged first husband to death
Young at Heart = Toothless old witch

Now, the Male side of the list:

40-ish = 52 and looking for a 25 year old
Athletic = Sits on couch and watches ESPN
Average Looking = Unusual hair growth on ears, nose and back
Educated = Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit = Will sleep with your sister
Friendship First = As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun = Good with a remote and a Six Pack
Good Looking = Arrogant
Honest = Pathological Liar
Huggable = Overweight and more body hair than a bear
Likes to Cuddle = Insecure, overly dependant
Mature = Until you get to know him
Open-Minded = Wants to sleep with your sister, but she's not interested
Poet = Has written on  a bathroom stall
Spiritual = Once went to church with his grandmoter on Easter Sunday
Stable = Occasional Stalker, but never arrested (yet)
Thoughtful = Says 'Please' when demanding Beer

Hope this translation is useful...and don't go changing your profiles now!!

Enjoy!