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Holy jeez. I didn't realize that people would actually look at this whole blog thing.
I guess today is the day when I explain myself to the world so here goes...
I will be a junior next year and i have only had two boyfriends. I don't know how its like where you are but this is kind of sad from where I live. Here, boyfriends and girlfriends are like new toys. The coolest kids have the new toys and when they lose intrest in them, they simply exchange for the "better" model. It doesn't help much that my two boyfriends are nothing to show. My first one turns out to be gay (not the cool "OMG LETS GO SHOPPING" kind either, no he's the emo "the world hates me" kind). Now if that wasn't bad enough, my second boyfriend is a big time pot head. I was totally unaware of this while we were dating and constantly denied it. I know better now. It just sucks you know? I haven't had a boyfriend in a year, but that doesn't mean that I'm at a stand still in the boy category. No, I made out with a guy on a cruise I went on last summer. It was the last night and we both just wanted to have some fun. I also had a little fling with another guy a few months ago. However, after we had made out a few times and he got past "first base" a few times, he decided that he really didn't want a relationship. Thanks bud... you're the coolest. My more recent boy was only a few days ago. Me and this guy had decided at a party that we just wanted to make out with someone without any feelings attached. But, this guy just kept sending me signals that he actually liked me. I was a little weirded out by it but i went along. Then the day came that we made out and as he left he spoke these words to me : "Just so we're clear, we are still friends. Don't tell anyone what we did." I know that i should have just taken that as he didn't want people to know but i keep thinking now that he is somehow ashamed by kissing me.
This now brings me to my next point: I feel that being the weight I am now won't attrack boys to me. I am constantly pegged as the "sister" or the "best friend". I'm sick of being the girl who you can't see yourself dating. I want a boyfriend and i believe that the only way to achieve this is by losing at least 20 pounds.
As for today, I messed up. I didn't do anything but a few exercises and ate a bowl of cereal in the morning. No 20 minutes of cardio, and i ate like the pig I am. I'm going harder on myself tomorrow to make up for today. Wish me luck because it is time for a change.
status: angry
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Posted by amessofdreams on 2008-07-17 22:53:49 | Rating: | Views: 52
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One of these days, you will meet a boy who likes you, for you. He will not use you,he won't make fun of you, he won't be ashamed of you. Don't give your love away to any one who would.
You are young, there is so much time to learn what is best for you. wait for the best.
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Posted by circe
on 2008-07-17 23:03:42
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hi there...
if you don't love you for just being yourself then it's never gonna happen. and being the thinnest or easiest girl around is not gonna do it either.
wouldn't it be better to concentrate on being the best person you can be first?
i dunno...just throwing that out there for consideration...
good luck and welcome to thoughts!
cheers!
:)
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Posted by badlydrawnstickman
on 2008-07-17 23:13:19
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hey.
i totally understand.. but dont try so hard to get a boyfriend just because you like the idea of having one.
and i totally understand you on the weight thing. I honestly am not doing this for other ppl...it's for myself.
I've got a boyfriend and i'm not doing it for him.
And don't worry. You'll find someone, just be yourself.
You're probably a great person! :)
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Posted by gerdesgurl
on 2008-07-17 23:50:42
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hey good luck on the losing 20 pounds thing ,, im tryin to exercise some more 2,, but ive talked to alot of guys about what they really like an even today my own brother said he doesnt like the little skinny girls soo
i think ur goin to find a great guy either way :)
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Posted by Shylah9
on 2008-07-24 03:08:22
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