i get confused, one minute i'm thinking suicide the next what i'm gonna do in the future, like it will be something great. not literally by the minute, just i'm either really down or really energetic and feeling really good.. i can't remember ever being just okay-not exstatic but not depressed .. i'm either really up or really down. my mom says my moods change more than the weather. at first i was really angry with her for making it seem that i get in really bad moods and its like she was saying it as a bad thing. but even my friend is telling me about it now and all i can think of to do is deny it and get really angry with her and not talk to her for a while after fighting with her.. she's my only good friend that i associate with almost everyday. i usually don't like making new friends because the few that i've had before i couldn't trust after trusting them and them betraying my trust. i think it's really hard around here to get new trustworthy friends that i actually like being around. sometimes i want to be the centre of attention but other times i just shy away from everyone ands even hate getting out of bed. i really do love my friend and she's great, mom says i lose my friends because of my moods but heather is still sticking around and i love that about her.