I love my kids, I truely do and I would never want to be without them, but there are times where I want to just scream. I feel like the most unappreciated person on the planet. It seems like trying to get them to do anything is a struggle, unless its something fun. Wait that is sometimes a struggle too. I have family night with them on nights I have off so we can have quality time. It seems more like a chore at times. Someone is angry or does not like what I want to make for dinner or what we have picked as the activity for the night. I work a shift where I can't supervise them at night or make dinner so I rely on my teenagers to help. That is a mistake. They need more supervision than the younger ones. Why, why , why is my oldest the most immature, irresponsilbe one out of the four? I can't for the life of me figure out how to make him understand he needs to take responsibilty for himself and help out. I asked him if he ever in anything does more than the bare minimum and he says because he doesn't want to or care to. It is so frustrating and makes me want to cry. I have tried everything to motivate him from punishments to rewards and nothing works. I don't know what to do anymore. On nights like these I really want to run away and not be here. Not because I don't love them, because I love them more than anything, but because I am tired of always having to fight to get them to listen or just to try and have a fun time, or to do what they need to do. I feel totally on my own and only when I get really angry do one or two of them actually listen, it only lasts for a few days though and then we are back to the same things. I think I am going to have to be  mean and unpopular all the time or things will never get done. Its hard when already I am the bad guy in their eyes and Dad who they get to visit and have fun with is the best. I hope one day they will see what I ahve done for them and how much I do love them even though right now they don't really seem to see it.