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nights of frustration

I love my kids, I truely do and I would never want to be without them, but there are times where I want to just scream. I feel like the most unappreciated person on the planet. It seems like trying to get them to do anything is a struggle, unless its something fun. Wait that is sometimes a struggle too. I have family night with them on nights I have off so we can have quality time. It seems more like a chore at times. Someone is angry or does not like what I want to make for dinner or what we have picked as the activity for the night. I work a shift where I can't supervise them at night or make dinner so I rely on my teenagers to help. That is a mistake. They need more supervision than the younger ones. Why, why , why is my oldest the most immature, irresponsilbe one out of the four? I can't for the life of me figure out how to make him understand he needs to take responsibilty for himself and help out. I asked him if he ever in anything does more than the bare minimum and he says because he doesn't want to or care to. It is so frustrating and makes me want to cry. I have tried everything to motivate him from punishments to rewards and nothing works. I don't know what to do anymore. On nights like these I really want to run away and not be here. Not because I don't love them, because I love them more than anything, but because I am tired of always having to fight to get them to listen or just to try and have a fun time, or to do what they need to do. I feel totally on my own and only when I get really angry do one or two of them actually listen, it only lasts for a few days though and then we are back to the same things. I think I am going to have to be mean and unpopular all the time or things will never get done. Its hard when already I am the bad guy in their eyes and Dad who they get to visit and have fun with is the best. I hope one day they will see what I ahve done for them and how much I do love them even though right now they don't really seem to see it.

Posted by alleen on 2008-03-05 21:10:47 | Rating:

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I think I made my mom feel the way that you feel many times growing up. It's part of getting older and gaining independence. Nothing will change the fact that they love you too.

Posted by peace_seeker on 2008-03-05 21:53:12

hi alleen,
i don't have the same experience as you do but i kinda have the feeling that those feelings might be common to all kinds of relationships - just the feeling of things not going quite the way you planned or wanted. but i think it's important to recognise when you have done your best and just to back down and let people be themselves.
good luck...
cheers!

Posted by badlydrawnstickman on 2008-03-09 14:37:19

Im with you honey, Im always telling my kids that they have no idea how much fun I am and they are the ones missing out. Around them, seems like I always have to nag about something, I related to everything you said especially the part where they give you a hard time when you are trying to have fun with them....and I have been told over and over again, that someday, they will appreciate our efforts, but somedays... it feels like such a waste of time, yet, I truly don't think it us...I guess it all goes with the job! And its the hardest... most thankless job in the world! Hang in there, we all have to have a support system to get us throught these trying times.

Posted by roe on 2008-03-23 22:25:11

jeese, when are we going to get edit buttons around here for our comments, for our mistakes, I said throught, instead of through... and think it us, instead of is...actually
I was just thinking about this yesterday, an edit button would be a great aid in life, wouldnt it?

Posted by roe on 2008-03-23 22:30:30