Chief Space Alien Investigator: ups; ddt; constipated global reporters; united bloggers of the pacific coast and other news sources from around the world reports; dateline;
Squammisheye County Authorities have sighted two space aliens at a railroad track just inside the county line. Lawmen first saw a UFO Space ship hovering over the tracks at 11:53 pm (e.s.t.). The five officers in the police car were about 2 miles from the ufo ship. (photos of the ship to be released at a later date.)
The five officers in the squad car radio’d in for a back up unit to meet them at the R.R. site, E.T.A. being about 20 minutes.
It was then that i got the call on my red (princess) special ops phoneline from authorities wanting me to join the investigation. I had nine more quick cups of joe and three and a quarter packs of nonfilterd cigarettes before i set out on the mission to bust the creeps from the hidden planet of jakara which is on the back side of the outer universe.
When i arrived, officer ‘ _ ‘ (all names with-held until the end of the u.s.d.a. investigation) told me exactly where in the clear darkend sky to see the ufo.
I fixed my (then) blured vision on the location he emailed me earlier that evening. There it was! The largest U.F.O. i had ever investigated at that time. It was silver, blue, red, and tan and had glowing lights all around it. But the excitement was on the railroad tracks.
As i turned and looked down as to rest my twisted neck, i spotted two space aliens lighting a bon-fire on the R.R. tracks. The pair waved at me, smiled and ask me if i knew what i was get’n into be’n there in the dark at that hour of the night. I identified myself as being a gov agent, took a quick photo and at about that time the midnight express train came roaring thru at around 160 mph.
I jumped to the east side of the tracks to avoid becoming hamburger meat from the choo-choo-train. I landed on the sharp jagged rocks beside the tracks. As i rolled over, i saw that the midnight express had ran over the bon-fire putting out the fire and the space ship had hovered over the crash site and in a cloud of bluish-grey fog, the two space aliens were slowly sucked up into the spacecraft and in a supersonic flash, it swooped straight up.
It took me a few minutes to regroup and pull myself back together from the semi state of shock i was in from the strange event.
It was at that time, and after a sip from a now cold cup of coffee, that i decided to drive back to the donut shop, (when i arrived at the scene i had all the cops go and wait for me there, as not to reveal any gov info.) i had several days of paper work to fill out and i had to do it in secret.
When i arrived at the donut shop everyone bought me a cup of coffee and four dozen donuts and we told deer hunting and fishing stories for the remainder of the morning.
At least i had the tiny spy cam micro film to prove once again that ‘ Space Aliens Do Exist ‘ and i share it with you now.
Don’t forget, this is a gov covert op, so keep quiet and if anyone should ask, just tell them the photo does not exist.
this is a fiction-humor blog (comedy) ]]>