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OK... so I went to rehearsal last night with my "I don't have to prove myself!" attitude. I graciously said no when the director asked about my solo audition, and I even felt strongly about it, you know, like I was making the right decision. Well, as the night wore on and people commented on various things, including whether or not I auditioned, I started to feel that pain again (it didn't help that I also had a migraine coming on). So many new people, also very talented, don't know who I was/am. THAT seemed to get to me. To them, I AM just the Chorus Manager who HAPPENS to sing. They don't know that my singing has always defined me, or what I do for a living. Then again... WHY DOES THIS MATTER SO MUCH?
I really need to talk to someone impartial about this and begin to unravel this "mystery." Only trouble is, who and when? Ugh...I guess this may mean looking for a new counselor after all these years.
I'll keep you posted.
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Posted by aliceclaudel on 2008-10-22 12:57:20 | Rating: | Views: 35
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