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| Part II |
Yesterday was a VERY ugly day for me. Things went wrong left and right, and they were not minor. There was, however, one surprise at the end of it all.
It was like a strange dream which has no true meaning until after it is finished and looked back upon. As I drove away from getting some take out Chinese food to provide one, small treat in the dreck that was yesterday, I saw a man walking out of the local grocery store. He wore some kind of windbreaker and a knit cap. As he turned his face slightly toward the car, I could see that he was familiar to me. It was the one who had tormented me just a handful of years before. It was the one who had caused my life to go snaking down a variety of frightening, sad, and emotional paths, after so much mental and physical abuse. I looked him dead in the face. Soon, he looked back. I could tell, after his second glance, that he knew me, he knew my car, and we knew each other. It was like two ghosts looking through the windshield. There he was just three feet in front of my car, like any man who had to run to the store in the night. Unassuming, normal. I should have been scared, based on what I had been feeling the last few years, but I was not.
My EMDR therapy was tested to its full potential and stood up to the ultimate scenario- being confronted with the abuser. I looked into his eyes in the night and felt NOTHING. No fear, no resentment, no tears sprung from my eyes at the thought of things he said or did four years ago. He is nothing to me anymore. He is like a breeze that passes, leaving no trace. Thank God for such a miracle. If this was my Mount Everest, I do believe that I have finally planted my flag at the summit and descended successfully. It was the only thing I had to show for a very long and difficult day (and four years), but what a great reward it was.
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Posted by aliceclaudel on 2009-03-04 15:17:48 | Rating: | Views: 89
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