Ughhh, well things for me lately have pretty much sucked. Nothing really goes as I plan anymore, but I guess that's life, eh? I feel like a failure at life, I know I could do so much more with myself, but it's like I'm not trying, even though I really am...if that makes sense. I don't have any talents, none. I play guitar and I'm in art and I suck terribly at both. I am also failing science and math. Science; well everyone is failing and I don't study. I mean I do study. but apparently it isn't enough. And for math, well that has always been my down subject, but I think I'm starting to bring my grade up...but I doubt I am for science. It's like once I start doing better in one subject, I do worse in another. This year is actually the first year I made a bad grade on my report card. Normally I get A's and B's and very rarely C's but this year I got a D in math. I honestly don't know what to do with myself anymore...I feel like I have an alter ego in a ways. I feel like a terrible person, am I? I feel like I have done something wrong and this is my pay back;revenge;karma, whatever you want it to be. Anyways, I like poetry alot, It seems as though I get more fond of it everyday. I have always liked it since I started studying it when school started when I was young, you know how they would teach us all those little nursery rhymes?! I even actually write my own poems, but I doubt I'm gonna put any up right now because they aren't that good, but when they actually become worth reading I'll put them up. I also like photography, but I don't have a decent camera excpet for the one on my iPhone that isn't even that good. That is another one of my passions. Another is art. I like it so much; but I'm not good at it so it only hurts my self-esteem really. Same with guitar. I try so hard at everything and always fail, I fail too much. I don't like the way things are going for me. I feel like I'm going to end up taking one of those wrong roads/paths that your parents always told you to avoid if your catching my drift. I miss how things used to be, like when we were young and diddn't have a care in the world. Where there were no broken hearts and when you wore skirts you weren't a skank. I miss old life; the old me. I have clearly become something I am not. I don't like it; no one does. I have noticed the change myself and so has everyone else. It has put a big gash in my soul. I feel like a fool. I don't know where I went wrong, I don't know what I did. But what I do know is that I want to make it right. I want to make everything right. Whatever I did wrong I want to fix; but the thing is I don't know how. Can someone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE help me. I need to know how to make things right, to get the old me back, I don't want to stay this mysterious person forever. I want people to like me again. Thanks so much for reading this, and any advice would really help.
Thanks,
Alexis
| Views: 27
Email This to a Friend 