I sometimes find myself completely alone.  I had a husband and he left for greener pastures and the pleasure of no obligation nor responsibilities of a family.  I stayed behind and on the job.  Children grew became young adults.  I put my love life on hold so not to damage my children more by adding a stranger man to our already stressed out family. 

Times goes by slowly at times faster at other times.  Crisis in and crisis out and life goes on.  Children go to a new school to learn a trade I am still carrying the burden of family, finances and home life.  The mind become upset, the body weakens.  Since there is a lot of money problems concerning the new gas increases, when I use to pay $20.00 to fill up my gas tank, now I pay $44.00 for the same gasoline.  I try cutting corners in clothing, food and many daily articles we use in our home.  Try shopping closer to home and will not venture out of joy spending vacations, movies and things that use to be so trivial I hardly gave it a thought.  

All the demands on the mind and body catch up with me.  My back still hurts so badly, medications I use have to be of genetic brand now, doctors keep changing and moving on to other offices or open their own group.  Nothing seems to be stable and stay put.  Had a great Indian doctor whom I trusted and he earned that trust.  Now, he is gone and a new doctor takes his places.  Health Insurance keeps going up and gives back a little as they can.  Now, I have to call this new doctor to order my medication which I ran out yesterday.   I have to wait till the doctor's office opens and hope that he will honor my request and not demand to see me before he re-orders a standing prescription.  I feel like saying the heck with it, go throu the horrible medication withdrawls and just not take any medication at all.  Que sera, sera!  What will be, will be.  

So much work that needs to be done.  No time for sickness.  I pray God will help me conquer all these negative emotions.  Can't count on nobody, all are with their own lives and busy with their own problems.  Only you my computer and maybe somebody out in cyberspace knows what I am talking about.  Imagine that!  A human talking to a computer for there is no one else who would listen.  Wow, what a new twist.