God is not meant to be feared either. Those who embrace and rejoice in his love, do not do so because they are afraid of pleasing him. Free will was put here for a reason. I have known more false christians in my life, than real true christians and more who have no real idea what that word means. Good Luck to you in life. I hope that you will allow the wisdom of your own children to guide them in the chosen path, they choose for themselves.
If I did not believe in a higher power, I would not pray every day, however I do believe in guardian angels and I should have died long ago, however my work on earth is not done yet...