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I was so angry last night I woke up at 02:00 a.m. on the Christian channel there was a conversation between Joyce Meyer and a very distinguished long time Christian Psychiatrist. He was saying that a lot of people's depression besides the diagnosed clinical depression which is a chemical imbalance of the brain. It is not insanity but that the brain is lacking or not producing a certain chemical, I think is called setonin.   Well the doctor said that much of today's depression is caused by inward anger. That is when a person has not vent it's anger in a constructive way. Without causing injury, destroying private property, or anything that will is considered wrong in the eyes of God.   That person will push down that anger into itself. It comes out as depression.

I am angry when I clean up my kitchen and then later find it full of dirty dishes, left over meal dishes or food containers that where left either on the kitchen counter or inside the kitchen sink. That makes me want to yell,
have a major tandrum or a whatever.

I must have told them a million times through the years that left over food and containers must be discarded in the trash and not leave dirty plate and containers on the counter or inside the kitchen sink. It is as if they are deaf. Yes, they tune me out, mother deaf. Until I have a major explosion and start yelling.  Why can kids do what they are supposed to do without been told. It comes automatic with me to disposed of uneaten left food on my plate and trash empty of left over food containers in the trash. If the trash container in the kitchen is full then take out the trash put in a new bag and disposed of the darn things properly.

I know in the bible it reads to be angry yet do not sin. I understand that to mean that I can be angry but I am not to use profanity nor blaspheme, curse, hit, commit acts of violence or degrade my kids by name calling. Believe me that is very hard to do when you are very angry.  Now and then I slip and have to ask God to forgive me and the kids for saying a bad word.  I am so tired and upset that I just get depressed at a time. Darn! Why can these kids do what they are told!