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| I'll write you a letter and I'll never send it. |
Because if you ever honestly cared for me, I never noticed.
Or you didn't try hard enough to show me.
As much as I wanted you to.
As much as I cared for you.
Although, you were very candid about everything.
Maybe not about what you actually felt for me.
Nevertheless, I was grateful for that at the time.
But why is it? That when I open up, spill my insides, and wait for someone else to tell me what to do next, I'm always the one that ends up feeling worse than I did before.
Guilty;
Because I couldn't just keep my big fucking mouth shut.
Even more guilty;
Because now you know how much I'm hurting.
And there's nothing you can do.
There's nothing anyone can do.
Scared;
Because I know what you must think of me.
Paranoid;
That you'll stop talking to me.
Leaving me here to rot.
Even though I know it's not your fault.
What can I do? What can I possibly say to make you understand?
That I want you.
But I can never have you.
Because you're a million miles away and completely out of my reach.
Why am I so hung up on someone who doesn't feel the same way about me?
Someone who stayed up and talked with me on my worst nights.
Someone who made me feel okay, even if it was only for a few minutes.
Someone who is so concerned with helping others, they fail to help themself.
This world, this fucked up place we call home, wants you to lose.
And I have. I've lost.
I've lost you, or at least, I'm losing you now.
I think it's my fault.
I want you to know that I miss you more than you know.
But I'll never have the courage to tell you so.
<3
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Posted by _dumbbb on 2009-10-31 21:59:33 | Rating: | Views: 22
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