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I'm at a loss. I can't handle being a single mom and being responsible for my kids 24 hours out of every single day. I just can't do it. Everyone has been telling me to take care of myself and "just ask" if I need help, but as stupid as this sounds, how do I do that? I'm just supposed to call someone out of the blue? And say what?
I lost it tonight. I don't even know how else to put it. I was sobbing and it scared both of my kids. I needed time. I NEEDED them to just go to sleep, and they wouldn't. Chase was screaming from his crib and Alyssa wouldn't stay in her room...I even went outside, just to get away for a couple of minutes, and my daughter followed me out shortly after. I came inside, pulled Chase out of his crib, then just sat on the couch and sobbed.
For the first time, I actually thought about calling someone to help me--my neighbor. But what would I say? And how could she help? My kids needed me and I needed to be alone--the two are pretty much mutually exclusive.
Okay, so maybe I can't call someone to come save the day when things are falling apart...maybe I need to keep it from getting to that point. How do I do that? A good night's sleep? My daughter prevents that. A break everyday...some "me time"? I don't even know how that would work. I can't afford to pay someone to do it, and I can't see inconviencing anyone else to do it...
I'm not trying to...it's not that I don't want a solution. I do. I desperately need one. I just can't figure out what it would be. How can I turn things around, start enjoying my kids, take some control back over my life, and not get so incredibly overwhelmed? Where do I start?
Anyone?
Anyone?
Bueller?
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Posted by Zaudie on 2008-09-20 00:50:18 | Rating: | Views: 27
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