Okay, So she says that I need to get a grip on myself. I feel te need to man up. She is right, I need to learn how to deal with this. I am going home and she wont just be a phone call away. We will be  living in two different worlds....again. Today was a tough day for me and for once, She was there for me but I felt like she didnt want to talk to me about it. I just want her to know how i feel and be the loving girlfriend. I know that I need to hear the honest truth, but the truth is that I really need her here. I need to be physically with her. When I am not with her, I feel like my life crumbles around me. I have feelings I need to express, but when I stop to think about them, it brings me to tears. She doesn't want to hear that. She doesnt want to hear that I am in pain; or that I need her here the most. So ive decided to find a new outlet other than tears. I will write. I will write all of my emotions down on paper and in this online blog. It is a good plan. Jake- Jake is a douche. He hurt her on an unbelieveable level and all I want to do is tell him off. More than anything, it brought her to tears. I cant take that. So im going to pretend to be happy go lucky and start letting everything go. She wants it that way and I want her to be as happy as humanly possible. If it makes her happy, then so be it.