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| twisted tales from my life...
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I guess I'll start by saying that this is a random act of truth. I need to vent about my life in order to be free of the weird things that have been my demons for way to long now.
Hmmm.. o.k... my mother left my dad and I when I was a baby. I never really understood much about her until much later in life, but I always wondered. I remember, if I go way back in my memory, lots of fun times... climbing trees, jumping on trampolines.... my grandma helped my dad raise me until he met a lady who did not want any more kids, as hers were already grown up, and ended up marrying her. We were quite well off, but honestly, money did not help my situation. I really ended up needing to leave the place where I was.. one day I may get into why that was, but for now I'll just share that at the time, I was 14 years old, needing to get away, but not knowing where to go. I left home for a different city with nothing but the clothes on my back and literally, $15 in my purse.
I am going to skip alot of the details and get to the point of what has been grating on my mind for many years. At 14, I ended up getting shipped off to live with my mother. I knew next to nothing about her, except that she was a former drug addict, prostitute and HIV positive. Between the time of leaving home and the time when I ended up going to meet my mom my innocence had been pretty much lost, or at least that is what I thought at the time. Anyhow.... .... So I get off the plane, not knowing who my mom was, but we found each other... we hugged and cried, and then we got into a taxi cab and she asked me if I wanted to smoke a joint. I was so happy to have a "cool" mom... we went back to the place that she was sharing with a friend of hers. it was an apartment above a store.... it was o.k.... my mom told me she worked in a bar waitressing so her hours were late. Within the week she had brought me out to many bars to party... I had gotten so drunk I couldn't walk... all I could do was puke and pray to die..... and I noticed that she didn't hold down any type of job... we got to talking and she admitted that she was still whoring.... somehow the situation turned into a really crazy situation where I was being pimped out for her drug money.... god... she sometimes just kept me in a room and brought men to me... sometimes we went into bars and i sat at a table and she would bring men over, and if they were interested we would go to rent-by-the-hour hotels and ........ within the month i can remember the first time i saw my mom use heavy drugs.... we were in a hotel room... i thought we were going to smoke a joint, and then she pulled out a whole bunch of stuff.... coke, needles, rubber bands, .... oh god, its been a long time since I have thought about these things... I had never done coke before, and she was quite good at persuasion....but she just wanted me to snort it... she taught me how to roll the bill up and then she showed me how to sniff it.... I had a large take out container of orange pop.. and I remember sitting on the edge of the bed, snorting the coke off the wooden nightstand, and then drinking lots of orange pop to take the horrible taste away.... oh, god, I got sick .... puking and puking in the trash bucket that was between the bed and the table.... and then my mom started tweeking out... I had never seen anything like it. ripping up the edges of the carpets... looking for more drugs.... The hotel manager was banging on the door, yelling at us.... I had to drag her out of there.... ....... oh god... I think I need to take a break.... holy shit,, it is hard to go into memories that have been pushed away for so long.
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Posted by Zamicida on 2007-12-17 02:53:37 | Rating: | Views: 149
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I too have lived that same life, with the exception of the whoring part. Sure moms cool right. Lifes life and your doing the best with what you have.
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Posted by khaftman
on 2007-12-19 06:03:34
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