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| tales from my twisted life- continued...
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Actually, i never understood how the whole experiance was truely going to effect me later in my life. ..... so, i have these images in my head of certain men... the first time she sent me to a hotel with a man... he was older... balding... stinky... i remember she told me to go with this guy, and to make sure i used a condom.. well, once we got to the hotel the man pretty much did what he wanted with me... and he didnt use a condom... i was oblivious to the danger i was putting myself in. i have so many fucked up memories of different men... they weren't all gross. in fact, many of them were good looking men who showed me pictures of their wives and kids and really seemed to have a great life from my perspective. things with my mom got completely fucked up... we were smoking crack, drinking, whoring... basically she was passing on the only thing she knew how to to me, .... self-destruction. i met a girl in the middle of all of this who was herself, quite crazy too. she was 18, at the time, so a bit older than myself. we started hanging out.. doing coke, whoring together, partying... and my mom didn't mind at all, in fact, at first I think she was releived that she could basically go back to the way things were before i showed up.... i ended up leaving my moms place and moving into the getto with this girl, her boyfriend, and his friend. it was a one bedroom apartment and they had two mattresses on the floor side by side... her and her partner slept on one and myself and her partners friends slept on the other. i ended up "seeing" this other guy. i remember one night i heard them fucking, but she sounded in agony, so i asked her if she was o.k... she told me she was taking it up the ass, and that i should try it too... needless to say, i tried it for all of about 10 seconds... god.... WTF!!! at this point i was staying in the getto... us four shared the bedroom, but on any given morning there was anywhere between 6 to 10 people sleeping in the main area of the apartment. all we did was party all night, and sleep all day... to make a long part of the story short, i caused a feud between two gangs and i had to get out of the city... i had just found out recently that i was on a missing persons list so i called the police to come pick me up... i spent that night in juvinille detention.... oh how i cried... i had never been to "jail". then i was sent to a camp of sorts for underaged kids... and then i was flew back to the town where i had run from initally... i ended up getting tanked on the plane ride back and i almost ended up running away with the guy who was sitting beside me on the plane... he wanted to take me out to party... anyhow.. so i ended back in that town that i never wanted to go back to... i tried to straighten out my life. i got a job waitressing at a local resteraunt. moved in with some friends... drank alot, smoke lots of pot, but stopped doing coke... at this point i was 15... anyways, my scuzzy landlord proposed to me that if i would do "favors" for him, i wouldn't have to worry about paying my share of the rent.... he was an old married east indian man... i ended up letting him use me too.... but when it came time for rent he renigged and told me he wanted some money... well, holy shit.. i was fucked at that point.. i had been spending my money like 15 year olds do... i had nothing. so i told my girlfriend that i was living with that i was going to hitchhike to the city and make some quick cash for the rent.. i told her that i would be back in a few days. i walked through my small home town with nothing but my clothes and purse.. i was walking down the highway when i saw a car and a motorcycle parked in one of those pull of places... i went to look and saw two guys passed out in the car... i banged on the window and woke them up... i ended up getting a ride with them for a while. when we got to the town where they wanted to stay for the night i remember being in the guys hotel room with him.. he was getting ready to go to the bar and i was trying my best to seduce him... i think to show my gratitude for his company and the ride... and he was so tempted, but he ended up telling me that he had a daughter, and he just wanted to make sure i was o.k... he ended up giving me money to rent a room next to him because he said that if he came back from the bar and i was in his room and still acting like this he probably would do something he knew wasn't right.... i couldn't believe it... anyhow. he went to the bar with his buddy and i went to go and try to rent a room.. i was $4.00 short .. and the guy at the desk wouldn't budge on the price... i started to walk around the small town, wondering if i should go tell the man that i didn't have enough... instead i saw a truck stop, and i saw a man just getting into his truck, so i ran over and asked him where he was going.. and if i could hitch a ride... i felt guilty about leaving like that and taking that nice mans money.. even to this day i wonder if that man knows how he really made me see that some men do have an idea of loyalty and integrity........ so i jumped into the truck and we were on our way to the city.... it turned out to be more of a trip than i expected.......... |
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Posted by Zamicida on 2007-12-18 13:30:51 | Rating: | Views: 121
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I love you, we should seriously sit down and smoke a bowl, our lives are similar in very different ways, escort ay?? I am. Its getting old fast too. I dont do uppers anymore, but I dont know where Id be with out my pot.
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Posted by goodlovebadlove
on 2007-12-18 14:11:46
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