October 27th, 2009

Dear World,
       I guess you could say that my life isn't all that bad at the moment. I can honestly tell you that I am not the least bit perfect, but at this exact moment everything doesn't feel so horrible. Now that's a first in money weeks. I don't exactly know the one thing that has me being so depressed. But I could start with a few...

       Being single SHOULDN'T make someone feel lonely. But I can definitely say that it has. It's weird, last year I didn't want a boyfriend. This year; that's all I can seem to think about. I try to stay positive and just ignore the fact that I can't find anyone who is willing to try. Or at least someone I actually like back. I've made some mistakes in my past. But that's just the problem, my past. I can't seem to get over it. I think about how things use to be, and how I wish I could go back. Maybe that is whats keeping me from experiencing the positives of the present. Idk, I just wish that I could change some things...but I really try not regret. I always told myself and my friends that regretting isn't worth it. Because everything happens for a reason...do I really believe that? I mean, come on. Does me feeling like I'm worthless for a purpose? 

        School. It's not suppose to be easy but I use to be so smart. I use to breeze through stuff like it was kindergarten, yet now I feel as though I barely even understanding the basics. Everything is getting in the way of me learning and it's really hard to stay on top of it.

        I guess the lesson of the day for me is to just except how things turned out and just move foward with it. I can't change what has already occured, but I can pave my future.

Thanks for listening, Kelsey