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| Road Tripping with the Ex
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Vacation beckons. Do I heed the call? It’s complicated - no, I’m not Denise Richards in disguise. Ha! I wish my life was as ‘complicated’ as hers! She needs to get a grip and get over herself. Don’t get me started on her!!!!
The ex has invited me to go on vacation with him - and our two younger children to visit daughter # 2 in South Carolina. I want to see my daughter and Charleston, where she lives (It’s my favorite city) but I also want time alone away from my two children who share my world on a constant day to day basis.
My son is no problem really. I will miss the grunting when he is away. The freezer door will miss him more. It won’t see any action while he is away unless I find frozen food on sale and buy it for his eventual return.
It’s daughter # 3, the one who is most like the bulldog that I need some R&R from. She is tedious and high maintenance and SO impatient. She can also be scathing and a tad mean, ok, more than a tad. I need the solitude while she is away to steel myself for her eventual return. She could talk the ears off a brass monkey, as my Mother likes to say. She also told me, when child #3 was born, “That one is going to make you eat your elbows”. I know, that sounds funny and is seemingly impossible but my mother was SO right. Yeah, I said it, “My Mom was right!” No one knows how many times over the years I thought of that saying in relation to my daughter and wished eating my elbows was ALL I had to do to get through her childhood. My sister used to say, “If she were mine, I’d snatch her bald”. She’ll be 17 in a few weeks and by all accounts I probably deserve a medal for lasting this long without benefit of medication. 8 days without her is a welcome substitute for a medal of honor.
So, the question remains, ‘To go, or not to go’?
Here is where most people would be contemplating whether or not they could stand their ex for 8 days and a 15 hour car trip up and back. Yeah, not me.
I wonder if I can sit in a car with child #3, her car, mind you, because the ex thinks we should take that on this long trip to make sure it’s safe. My child informed me if I go I am relegated to the backseat. She and her father will be driving. I am to be seen and not heard. Now, I don’t know about you but the idea of riding for 15 hours with your Mp3 player, a few good books and magazines, your favorite pillow and snacks does not a punishment make. I said to my daughter, “You mean I don’t have to drive, I can read and listen to music, I can nap at will and only wake up when the car stops and it’s time to eat? I am SO onboard with that.” I get to be ‘her’ for my vacation. The center of my own universe! Ha! What’s not to love?
The ex keeps asking if I am going. I keep stalling. It won’t cost you anything he said. No gas money. No hotel costs. No food costs. You should come, he keeps urging. I personally think he’s very very afraid of the idea that he alone will be responsible for two children and he alone will bear the brunt of #3’s almost 17 year old raging hormone induced fits and flights of fancy. Our son will simply grunt from the backseat periodically, so he’s no help and certainly not an ally. He wants me to be his wing man or maybe just his flack jacket. The big chicken.
Seriously though. I am going. I want to see daughter #2 way worse than I want to avoid daughter #3. I’ve built up an immunity to her over the years. I can tune her out like a fly trapped in the house on a hot summer night. I want to see my beloved Charleston. I want a free vacation because I won’t be getting one otherwise.
Mostly though, I’m going for a 700 hundred mile ride to snivel and whine periodically, throw tantrums about how hungry I am and how unfair life is, and to kick the back of my daughters seat like she’s done to me for the past 17 years. Ahhhh……Paybacks!
Live well (on your ex’s money)- it’s the best revenge :o)
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Posted by Xaris on 2008-08-28 22:41:17 | Rating: | Views: 32
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While your daughter is driving, how about asking "Our we there yet?" every 15 minutes. And when the kids ask any question respond with, "Ask your dad." Enjoy your vacation.
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Posted by HungryHeart
on 2008-08-28 22:58:13
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Ha-Ha! It never occurred to me to do that to her. I was too busy kicking the back of her seat. I'll keep that in mind for the next time. :o) Thanks for the great idea. Peace!!!
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Posted by Xaris
on 2008-08-28 23:43:21
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