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That word - the title of this blog - is a word I made up to define me. HA! It’s a mouthful and it says SO much about me and the state of my union (Life)! I used this as my chat handle many moons ago. I haven’t chatted for years. For a few years all I did WAS chat. I would be online for hours and I mean 12+ a day escaping reality and chatting with people I didn’t know. It was a great escape…..from life, reality, and myself.
I was in the throes of a serious depression - perhaps even a nervous breakdown. I can’t say for sure but it was a living hell. I’m not sure how I survived it and lived to tell. I would panic if I was away from the computer. I couldn’t concentrate on anything that didn’t have to do with the internet. I guess you could say I was addicted in a big bad way. It nearly ruined everything. I shut everyone and everything out of my life except online ‘friends’. As a result I am largely a ‘loner’ to this day. I prefer home to being out and about. If I don’t have to leave the house for a day - or a few days I’m as happy as a clam. Can anyone out there relate to this? I would love to hear from other people about similar experiences.
I look back on those years and it seems such a huge waste of time and energy and yet I have to believe it all happened for a reason. I’m sure there is a lesson to be learned from it. I recognize how out of control I was. Hindsight is always 20/20.
Please leave a comment if you have anything to share about your own experience.
Psyche=mind and delicatessen=a mess of somewhat similar items. I was a mind mess alright.
Somedays it’s difficult to look back on it. I was such a basket case. I wonder if I still am or if the potential for me to backslide into that dark abyss lurks a heartbeat away.
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Posted by Xaris on 2008-08-28 08:01:43 | Rating: | Views: 28
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