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I watched a movie at work yesterday. Steel Magnolias……still a tear jerker after all these years. I knew going into it I would get emotional and still I went ahead with it anyway. It makes me contemplative….about life…..love……family……and surviving. It hits close to home…..all the emotion in that movie. I lived a similar life experience nearly 23 years ago……soon I will write about it…..after all these years I might finally be able to find my voice and share the life altering experience.
Preparing to go on vacation! What a huge undertaking. Does anyone else drive themselves crazy with all the details or do you just pack your bag and hit the open road? I am my own worst enemy. I guess I really do make things more complicated than they have to be. There is a house to consider. Dogs to be dealt with. Bills to be paid. Who needs what before we go. The only thing I have ready are my books. They are one of the most important ingredients of a successful vacation…..to me, anyway. The only thing missing is a good cup of coffee and a beach!
Senior pictures are today. Yes, for the high maintenance almost 17 year old. She has been impossible for the past 2 days. I would rather wrestle a rabid crocodile that hasn’t eaten for 2 months than to deal with her when she’s acting like this. Luckily, she is very photogenic so her ugly mood won’t be apparent in pictures. She’ll look like an angel in one dimension. I’m the only one who won’t be fooled. I’ll bear the brunt of her wrath like I always do.
Hardly anything on my ‘To Do List….’ is done. I make lists of things to accomplish before I go on vacation so I feel like I did something to deserve one. Probably a self-defeating move. I don’t feel as if I should go off and enjoy myself if I haven’t done ’something’ to make me deserving of it. I survived the last year. By all accounts it’s been one of the worst in the history of me. That alone makes me deserving….if I really think about it. There will be difficult times to deal with soon enough. The one year anniversary of it looms large. I should vacation and enjoy it for all it’s worth. The memories of it will buoy me and lend some perspective in the days and weeks ahead. Dark days…..sad days……days of sorrow filled with what if’s……and ‘if only’s’….
I’m reading Erma Bombeck. I was reading her book in-between watching Steel Magnolias. I bought the book for vacation but the temptation was too great. I was crying with sadness at the movie and crying and screaming laughing at the book. Thank God it was a quiet day at work. If anyone reviews the closed circuit video from the survelience cameras…..HA! what a laugh they’ll have watching me.
I survived the picture ordeal. She did look beautiful. Lovely even. Hard to believe another will be grown up. Some days it seems like they were babies a mere 20 minutes ago…..I don’t feel any older…..but the proof I am is behind the wheel of a car - not the handle bars of a tricycle. I have one left to go through senior pictures. It’s the mancub. That will be my reward for the hair, makeup, jewelry, not to mention the blood, sweat, and tears that all went into getting 1, 2, and 3, ready to roll. The mancub will grunt a few times, ball up the shirt I painstakingly iron, and head off to get his pictures taken with little to no preparation or fanfare. He’ll come out looking just as good as the girls with minimal effort and ZERO words spoken, no whining, and no stressing about what to wear. Men really have it SO easy. He’ll roll his eyes at me when I ask if he wants me to go with him. I may have to follow 3 car lengths behind him in a borrowed car and disguise but eventually he’ll be glad I went although he’ll never admit as much to me.
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Posted by Xaris on 2008-08-28 22:44:19 | Rating: | Views: 15
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