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I am in mourning. For three days I have been wearing basic black. No one around me has noticed. If they did they would criticize me, telling me to “Get over it, already”, ”It’s no big deal”, ”Get real” or “Be serious”. Well, I’m not over it, it IS a big deal to me, I’m as ‘real’ as the next guy, and I’m as serious as a heart attack!
A brief but violent storm passed through on Sunday. In it’s wake - chaos. I wasn’t home when it happened. I heard about it before I actually saw it. I didn’t realize I would take it so hard.
The mighty oak in my backyard didn’t bend, it broke. That tree was like an old friend. I counted on it’s shade in the summer. I counted on it’s ability to shield us from the cold winter wind. I counted on the privacy it provided. Now there is a hole in the sky where it’s branches once soared high and spread wide. By all accounts that tree was in excess of 250 years old. A long and productive life, to be sure.
The subtle changes it has left in my world are unwelcome. The early morning light that floods the kitchen is different. It’s not what I’m used to. It feels foreign and therefore, unfriendly. Is it stupid to feel this way? Perhaps - but I do none-the-less. I am a creature of habit and I dislike change. I’m sad because that venerable, stalwart, stoic sentinel no longer stands guard. I wonder if the animals miss it. The squirrels raced up and down it in the solitude of dawn. Have they noticed? Does it make a difference in their lives? I can’t say with any authority but I know it makes a difference in mine. Crazy? Maybe! I know it’s absence will alter the balance of nature in my yard and perhaps in the creek beyond where the tree stood.
It crashed into the creek, well, it fell across the creek and now forms a walkway from this side to that. How much damage it did on the other side I can’t say. I have yet to go have a look. It crushed the fence along my property line and that presents a problem for me. I’m sure the dogs are ecstatic at the notion that their great escape might be made easier because of it’s demise. I wonder if they’ll miss chasing the squirrels up it. It was daily entertainment for both.
I’m awaiting the insurance adjuster to view the scene and pronounce a verdict. Is it a covered loss? Or will I have to pay through the nose to have the mess cleaned up.
It could have been worse. Way worse. If it had fallen the other way the tree wouldn’t be the only thing not standing today. The house was directly in it’s path. It would have taken out two fences, a storage building, and a section of the house itself. I consider myself lucky it didn’t fall this way, but that. That doesn’t make me miss it any less though. At 250+ years old I can only imagine the stories that tree had to tell. I ponder if important people took refuge under it and plotted and planned heroic or daring adventures. I wonder how many secrets it kept over that long fruitful life. Did Natives take refuge under it or use it as a landmark? How many lovers met under it’s branches? How many children attempted to climb it? How many succeeded? How many people have fond childhood memories of that tree, besides my four?
I wonder if I’ll miss the acorns that no longer fall. What will the groundhogs do now? Will I ever get used to the hole it’s left in my horizon or my heart?
Until further notice basic black is the dress code.
P.S. Trees - are the answer!
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Posted by Xaris on 2008-08-28 11:16:59 | Rating: | Views: 48
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Trees often last much longer than people and are frequently more interesting! At least they know when to shut up, with the exception of that tree from the Wizard of Oz.
Joe
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Posted by joseph33
on 2008-08-28 11:20:44
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Xaris..I know exactly what you mean. Trees are important in the landscape of our lives.
I have a maple that butts up next to my back deck. It needs to be removed..but I can not bear to part with it. I watch it's transformation every year..bare..to green..to orange and yellow..to bare again. We lost several tall oaks a few years ago in a storm. We also lost lots of dogwoods. Sad day indeed. Our insurance looked at the trees and wrote us a check for $2000. on the spot. Good luck and I am so sorry you lost your beloved friend.
peace :) shemelts
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Posted by shemelts
on 2008-08-28 11:26:03
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oh man i feel your pain dale my next door neighbor sawed his perfectly good old oak down,he did not like the stickies on it, oh wait it was a cotton wood tree, i wanted to shoot him, now you can plant a new tree, feel better peace
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Posted by bjm1
on 2008-08-28 11:29:40
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Joe:
You got that right, my friend. Trees rock! Some people - just have rocks in their heads. My tree never said much - it was the strong silent type :o)
Shemelts:
Trees are amazing - transforming through the seasons...through the years. It's nice to know others 'get' me. I feel less alone in my thinking. Thank you for the kind words.
bjm:
I appreciate your comments. Why waste a bullet??! Ha! Spare the neighbor and plant a fast growing tree near your property line so all the leaves and whatnot fall into his yard! Live well, or at least green - it's the best revenge!!!!
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Posted by Xaris
on 2008-08-28 22:28:38
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