THis is a blog i wrote about 6 months ago........



in the past few weeks I realize that my life is going to change a lot.  I am going to graduate college and "start" my life.  I spend a lot time thinking about it lately and I always end up confused about it.  I have a job waiting for me that I really like a lot.  Most of my family memembers don't want me to do this job because I won't be using my degree that I will be getting here in five more weeks.  I had a talk with my friend Nick the other day and he told me to do what makes me happy.  I have always thought that.  I am not sure if working on Gas Lines for the rest of my life will make me happy.  Though, I do know that right now it will make me excellent money and I will have fun doing it.  I would love someday to use my degree in Criminal Justice to make my living and support my family that I plan to have one day.  In my past I have messed up a relationship that I wish I never did.  I think about it a lot and realize all the stupid shit that I did and wish that there was a way that I could back and change and fix all the dumb things I said and did.  Thinking about it, I realize what I have lost because of what I did.  She may not think that but she really never knew what she meant to me.  I know I have moved on and all that but I do like to think what it could have been if things were different I was able to do the right things.  I look at both of my brothers and they are both married and have children and I know that I want that in my life by the time that I am thirty.  I just have to find the right girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with.  Sometimes I feel like I am a little left out without having a family already.  I know that I changed my life by going back to college and that my time for the family and all that jazz is still to come.  I don't regret coming to college at all.  I have made some of my best friends here and I have to say that in the last four and half years I have had a lot of fun.  I joined a fraternity (Sigma Alpha Epsilon) which was a great decsion.  I have make life long friends and I feel that it has made me grow as a person in my last year of college.  As I look forward to life I get a little scared.  I have always wondered if I will be able to suceed in life and be able to support my family and live in that nice house.  Wondering if I am going to finacially capable of paying my bills and not living paycheck to paycheck.  I want to have that nice life that everyone dreams about.  Life is a scary thing.  You never know whats going to happen to you and you have to be prepared for the things that are going to suprise you in life.  It's like the quote in the movie "Rocky Balboa" :
"It dont matter how hard u can hit cause aint nobody hit as hard as life. What matters is how hard u can get hit and keep going forward, you always gotta keep moving forward."
I know that I will always keep moving forward and I won't let life get me down.  I just want my life to be sucessful and not have to struggle to make ends meat and worried about supporting my future family.  So I look forward to My Next Thirty Years with some excitement because I know a lot is going to change and I know I am ready for it.