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hey so i just finish reading somones blog and it reminded me of my past.
when i was about 10 or 11, my mom woke all of us up (my borthers and sister) it was like 1 in the morning, any ways, she took us all to the living room, where i saw my father thow and of his clothes to in a big box, she look at us, with angry treas in her eye,and said " if you was to be with your father you can take a bag and grab some clothes and go right now, me and your father are not going to be togethir any more. if you want to stay with me you can go back to sleep.
one by one my silbling lrft to go back to bed. they were so lucky they new the answer way before my mom asked the question. i thought so quick of all the posibilty.
if i went with my dad he was great with me he hardly ever beat me like he did my brothers and sisters, he always played with me and sang with me and when he went out he almost always took me with him. yet i will never see my mom anymore or play with my sisters. or go to my school with my friends.
if i went with my mom i would have all those thing and keep them as i get older but i would never see my daddy. oh how i would miss my daddy so much.
so taking a deep breath i truned around and with tears rolling down my face i went to bed. i cry so hard that night.
later on in life i found out my father never got his own place he with from relivies home to friends home his whole life that is till he got really sick. my father was in aloholic so as he got older he drank more and slowly his mind was leaving him soon my aunt sent him back to Mexico to live with my grand pa. and that is where he slowly be came a vegetable and died.
i was 16 when that happened and for the next 3 years i kept blaming myself. if i just went with he would feel he had someone to take care of and he would have stop or may be i would have tooken care of him.
i'm 25 now married and with a job i love. my huband is a great man he love me and he lets me know everyday. every now and then i cry and brake down thinking of my father. but my husband takes me in his arms and lets me know every time it was all for the best.
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Posted by Wowasplace on 2008-09-24 09:34:29 | Rating: | Views: 28
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You should never blame yourself...Alcoholism is a self destruction and he would have taken you down with him. You did the right thing to stay safe with your mom. Your dad is probably looking down on you from above and is probably relieved that he didn't destroy you life due to his addiction. Remember the playing and the singing that you experienced with him. The happy moments.
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Posted by girlzone
on 2008-09-24 10:15:28
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