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| Pain, religion, life, and TV |
I'm in a lot of physical pain right now, and its causing some anguish. There is something wrong with my kidneys, and no one knows what it is. Its been going on for about a week now, and I've been to immediate care and the er and no one knows what's wrong. They did a bunch of tests to see if I have a kidney infection or kidney stones, but they said I don't have either. They told me that its back spasms, which I don't buy because if it was, the muscle relaxants they gave me would be working to kill the pain, or make it start lessening. But its not. Its getting worse. My mom is afraid that all the medication I take to treat my bipolar disorder is finally taking a toll on my body. Its a posibility. I just want to know what's wrong so it can be fixed. I go to see my new physician tomorrow. Hopefully he can figure something out.
My friend Seeker was kind enough to drive me to the grocery store today so that I could cook dinner tonight. I have a car, but I'm on Norco, so driving right now is a bad idea. I was too wobbly in the store to walk, and too out of it to drive a motorized cart, so Seeker pushed me in a wheelchar cart. He was gentle with turning and such, so it worked out quite nicely. He's an incredible friend. He's driving me to my doctor's appointment tomorrow because James will be at work. James is my brother and roommate. I've been letting James take the car to work instead of walking because I can't drive anyway, why not let him take it? He's a good driver, I trust him. Anyway, grocery shopping was very painful, even for the little time we were there. The big, every-other week trip is going to suck. We're usually gone an hour or two. It's really going to suck. I forsee lots of pain in my future.
I haven't been able to go to class the last two days, and I'm worried that I'm going to have to drop out for the quarter until this gets better or at least under control. If I miss eight hours of class in a row, I will be dropped from my classes. That's one week. I've already missed two out of four class days this week. I'm really worried.
On the plus side, I've had a lot of free time on my hands because all my homework that's due this week I finished over the weekend. I was going to work on homework due next week, but I've been pretty drugged up, so that hasn't been working too well. I've been watching the second season of Angel, and I finished it today. I'm getting ready to start season three tonight after Seeker leaves. He's at a therapy group right now, and he's coming back afterwards in a half hour or so. It'll be good to hang out with him. Maybe we can watch some Buffy. Right now we're in the middle of season five. I've seen all the episodes of both series many times, but I'm watching Buffy with him, and Angel by myself, and then after we finish Buffy together, we're going to watch Angel together. I hope that made sense. I'm sorry if it didn't. I'm pretty drugged up on painkillers.
I can see why people get addicted to stuff like what I'm on, but, personally, I don't like the feeling. I don't like feeling out of control. I guess that's why I never got very drunk very often when I did drink. That's one of the awesome things about my church. We don't drink. Or smoke. I used to do both. When I chose this church, I made the choice to give up those things permanently, and I've been blessed for it. I feel free without them. That's one misunderstanding that a lot of people have about the Mormon church. We are not REQUIRED to give those things up. It is a commandment, but, in the end, we all have free agency. We CHOOSE not to do those things, and to follow the commandment. We will not be excommunicated for them (unless illegal drugs are involved) but certain privilages will be denied us. Such as going to the temple. I've been to the temple a couple of times, and its wonderful. I have not received my endowments, but I go to do baptisms for the dead. which is also amazing.
I love my church, and I love the people that go to my branch. They are awesome people, so loving and supportive. It's like another familiy for me. None of my family live within an hour's drive away, so I don't get to see them often. But my branchers are awesome people. Clarie rocks, and Dan is like a brother to me. I love them both. That's also where I met my ex-fiance, Adam. He's a pretty good guy too, but a little too wierd for me.
I feel strong in my faith right now. I read out of the scriptures every day (that is the Bible, The Book of Mormon, Docrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price). Right now I'm reading the Old Testament and the Book of Mormon. It is suggested that we are reading from the Book of Mormon every day. So I read two chapters out of the Book of Mormon and two chapers of whatever else I am reading, right now the Old Testament. I'm reading Leviticus (Bible) and Mosiah (B of M) right now. I just finished reading about King Benjamin in Mosiah, which is one of the best parts of the B of M! Of course, the best part is when Christ come to this continent after his resurrection. So cool! I also say my prayers every day, but I'm not sure if I have today, so almost every day, and go to Institute ("bible study" though this semester its the B of M). I go to church almost every Sunday. This Sunday was the first Sunday I've missed in three or four months. My friends are finally getting used to the fact that I'm not available for anything on Sunday. Church is like a tropical island that I get to go to once a week:relaxing, rejuvinating, and fun! I love Sunday's now. It used to be a burden: "Aww, man, I have to go to church!" But now, on Saturday night, I think to myself, "Yes! Tomorrow is church!" The missionaries come over to my house once a week to give me a lesson. They tell me that they love coming to my house. I got baptized like 6 months ago, but they still come over because they think I'm awesome. I'm not tooting my own horn here, that's actually what they said! I love when they come over. It's not always at the most convenient time, but it's like sunshine shining through a break in the clouds. I love it.
I just started a new audiobook, the third book in Bernard Cornwell's The Saxon Chronicles, The Lords of the North. It's a very cool series with midieval warfare, lots of Norsemen (commonly called Vikings) trying to take over England. Very action-packed. It takes place in the ninth century AD during King Alfred's reign over England, with historical characters and events. In the middle of all that he places a fictional character that you follow through the whole series. There are four books now, and I'm listening to the third. I can't wait to get the fourth! Exciting!
Okay, i've got to cook dinner. Sweet and sour baked chicken tonight. Mmmmm. This will be the first time I've made it so I hope it turns out okay.
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Posted by WillowPhenix on 2009-11-03 19:07:14 | Rating: | Views: 23
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