Thoughts.com Blogs - Beyond Aggrivated

First let me start off by saying that I by no means ever try to judge someone. I like to think I surround myself with decent people who even though they don't always act decent, I know that in their hearts they are extremely decent. That being said: my 15-year-old nephew (the one who thought his girlfriend was pregnant) has been in and out of trouble since he was a kid. I know a lot of it has to do with who his parents are. His father spent the first 7 years of my nephew’s life in prison for stagatory rape of a minor. He was 22 and had sex with a 17 year old (that was before Texas passed the law that 17 was a legal adult). So he had no father figure for the first years of his life. His mom (my sister) has been in and out of jail for different charges. Ranging from but not limited to... possession, accessory to armed robbery, forgery, hot checks, and unpaid tickets. So his life has been pretty rocky from the beginning. My nephew got into some trouble a few months back for possession of stolen property. His best friend gave him a bike to work on (my nephew fixed bikes for $$), his best friend gave him a bike that he wanted pegs put on. My nephew told him to put it behind their house and he'd work on it when he got home from school. Well apparently the maintenance man who did the lawn work in their subdivision saw this bike and called the cops. The bike was reported stolen from some kid who lived in their subdivision. My nephew had NOTHING to do with it. He had no idea the bike was stolen - he was arrested anyway. My nephew spent 3 or so hours in jail when my sister went to get him out (I had to take her). My nephew is now on probation, which is good because I found out he was smoking pot with his mom. Great parenting I know. Anyway... my nephew is really trying to change his life. He is passing all his classes and is in the ROTC and he's doing great at it.
Now to what I'm upset about....my nephew invited my best friends daughter to go to their Military Ball with him as friends. My best friend was like, What if your nephew does something to my daughter? What if he gets her into trouble? She then followed it up by saying; I'm not judging him. I said, "Well yeah you are, you are judging him because of who his parents are." She agreed with me. Now being a mother of a daughter I can understand her hesitation... but her daughter is NO angel. If she knew half the stuff that her daughter has confided in me about, I should be more worried about HER corrupting HIM not the other way around! My nephew can't smoke pot or drink his PO tests him. I don't know... I am trying to not let this bother me, but my nephew is a good kid. He's been delt a bad hand in life but he is rising above it, why can't other people see that?!
I'm sure my judgment is clouded because he is my nephew and I know good things about him, I know he's a good kid who has sure gotten into trouble. But who hasn't done stupid stuff? Almost all of us have... we just didn't get caught.
I think what the main problem is, is that she acts like my nephew isn't good enough for her daughter. :(