Posted by
pastel2389
on 2008-04-10 10:45:52 |
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| hey my bf is the same way. so I use to always drill him, asking him to share and he just felt suffocated. so now I just tell him how I feel, and now he shares with me. Im not talking about loong heartfelt girl talks, but enough, good luck. |
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Posted by
rocky5544
on 2008-04-22 00:34:47 |
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Well a little advice from a guy who hates to talk...
Not all guys hate to talk, but many do. Maybe it is that way because we think that is a mans way, or maybe it is the way were were raised. Regardless, you have to let us have our space. We come around, maybe not to the point you would like, but we do come to the point we feel comfortable with. But when anyone tries to force us a push us to talk, we back off more. Look for the golden times where men are more eccepting of "talking". My wife has a nack for trying to talk when I was watching football or the UFC. After I firmly told her to back off enough times she got the picture. She learned to respect my wishes more as to the right time and she learned not to overwhelm me with everything. She learned to find the right times but most importantly she learned that if she simply stated that she needed a few minutes of my time, asked when that day she could have it, she got what she wanted. Now she will tell you our communication life has gotten better every day. But she will also tell you that she had to learn when to talk and how much to talk.
Because of her patience, I have learned how to have a good discussion with her and because she does not try to put everything on me all at one time, I am able to comfortably converse with her giving her what she needs without me feeling overwhelmed and suffocated.
Everything in moderation and tact. Understand that men and women are very different beings. We each have our comfort zones and our discomfort zones. I had to learn hers and be ok with them, and she had to learn mine.
BUT, because I love and repect my wife, sometimes Ihave to do things that i do not like. There are times her heart is heavy and I have learned to recognize those moments and no matter what, she gets my time. If your boyfriend can not understand that(and you are giving him his due respect by understanding he is different from you) and he makes no effort to change so that you get your respect and what you need, then maybe it is time to step out of the relationship. It will only get worse. There is a huge differnce between an overbearing wife who feels no matter how her partner feels she has a right to have what she wants, and a woman who respects her partners need to have his own wishes respected. If you are the latter and your BF does not come part way to you, get rid of him and find someone who will come part way to you and give you what you need! |
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