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Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.
To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger,I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
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Posted by Wayne on 2007-12-05 04:59:20 | Rating: | Views: 121
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Ha ha...Funny thing is...Today I'm off, and you'll find me in the nearest convience store, buyin' a pack of plain M&M's and testin' your theory...LOL Results later... :D
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Posted by olp76
on 2007-12-05 05:32:23
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I remember doing that as a kid...a memory that had been completely lost. I'll be doing this again very soon Wayne.
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Posted by Pauligan
on 2007-12-05 07:31:18
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LMAO, u don't really mail it to the company do you? Have they sent you a restraining order yet? I personally like to eat them by color, I seperate them in piles, I somehow think that they taste just a little different, I eat the one with the most first, then make my way down to the color with the least....I guess I am not THAT weird huh?!
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Posted by Rajah1116
on 2007-12-05 07:53:48
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I like to put each M&M (no sorting)sideways between my upper and lower molars and cracked them apart that way.
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Posted by joanne1948
on 2007-12-05 08:18:45
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You are too much! (wonder if your "testing" will work with chocolate kisses?....Hmmmm.
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Posted by wlamebull
on 2007-12-05 09:03:19
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LMAO wow, I'm speechless.
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Posted by Forgetmeknot
on 2007-12-05 20:20:55
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You just have to much time on your hands or maybe i'm not reading these M*M right hhhhhuuuuuuuuummmmmmmm.
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Posted by shellyme
on 2007-12-05 22:00:51
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Been in the cabin a while? Storm still blowing? - LMAO! You are needing out! :)
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Posted by 2rivers
on 2007-12-06 15:26:05
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