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God vs Satan
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"

And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese.

And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery, angioplasties, and stints . . . . .

And Satan created HMOs...
Posted by Wayne on 2007-11-11 05:51:20 | Rating: | Views: 97


Comments


Posted by
badlydrawnstickman
on 2007-11-11 08:26:22
 
hi wayne...
sad but true... i liked the bit about the 'sprinkle candy'
:o)
 
 

Posted by
PennyT
on 2007-11-11 09:03:06
 
That is quite amazing :)
 
 

Posted by
DifficultSoul
on 2007-11-11 11:16:11
 
Hahaha.
I could not decide whose side to be on.
Good one Wayne.
 
 

Posted by
MAK
on 2007-11-11 15:05:46
 
lol, it's funny 'cause it's true!! I try to eat more healthy foods, and stay away from McDonalds... Salad is good, but I need cheese on it. But I guess the carrots kinda balance that out.
I don't eat too much ice-cream, because then the next day I'll wake up and the house will be on fire or something XD . If I get sugar, I go crazy and don't remember what happened! Hmmm... that's kind of how people describe getting drunk...
O.o
 
 


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Wayne
Southern Oregon Coast, Oregon, United States

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